#7825
White Rose
Participant

Hi Moon you are amazing! What progress in a week. You should feel very proud of yourself.
It’s an incredibly difficult decision about involvimg police. I’m stuck with it too. The harm he did and continues to try to do to me is emotional but recently has turned to getting at me professionally and bad mouthing me in social circles. I’m powerless to stop him but don’t want to get police involved and I know it will escalate his behaviour. On the other hand it’s something I really want to do for me my daughter and my reputation as a well known “professional” in the area I live in as well in tbe wider field of my work.
I want get him to hurt him to name and shame him and in want him out or our lives. If I’m lucky he’ll get a talking to from police it wont be more unless I pursue the rapes but there’s no evidence just my word against his. you’ve got real hard evidence of severe abuse. If you go to police they’ll probably pursue a criminal investigation for your level of harm and hopefully lock him up to protect others from him too.
The difference in our abuse is miles apart but the decision is just as tough. I keep picking phone up to ring police. I’ve even done an email to the police DA worker I was allocated months ago with examples of his messages but I never sent it.
We’re probably both scared of the process. Scared of the consequences. Scared we’ll not be believed and scared that it will just make it worse.
My head says do it and my head wants to say to you to do it too! But I wish it was that easy.
Your daughter’s younger than mine. Mines had years of subtle abuse from her dad. She’s an emotional wreck at the moment and it’s seriously affecting her work and worsening her chronic health problem. Maybe if I’d recognised his behaviour as abuse and done something years ago she and I would be better now? I don’t know.
Ultimately you have to do what feels ok to you. Youre in a good place to talk to others and hear others stories as well as posting here.
Maybe I’m trying to say don’t leave it too long to decide? Maybe I’m writing this to convince myself we all need to report these incidents more often and i need to report mine too?
Whatever you decide is fine as it’s your decision made by you who is the only person who really truly knows what his abuse was like.
Keep being amazing. Love and hugs xxxxx

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