mixed-up mum

I’m back – you see this is where this behaviour is too strange, and why I have to put a stop to living this way – its almost 7am, and when many of you with small children will be getting up and making breakfast – I on the other hand have just been and had a tuna sandwich and a big bit of chocolate – at almost 7am – that’s not good – the longer I’m up the more I pick and eat – and that’s not good for me either, as Im already overweight. 🙁

Im so wide awake now, its just not real!!!

That was after a 15/20min nap at about 2.30am – and so the cycle goes on – cos I can’t sleep now, it will be late on before I do get to sleep – well then I can’t sleep for long as I’ll have to get up and do normal things like to dishes, hang out washing, make meals etc – and so I get up after maybe, 4 or 5hrs sleep and so I’m too tired to do much, and then I nap and then I cant sleep at night again – and so on and on it goes…….

Nobody knows this had become such a problem, not my kids, not my msm nor my sister ,- they all knoe I always have been s bit of a ‘ night owl’, but they have no idea Im up ALL NIGHT – I mean this is ridiculous, goné 7am, and have not been in bed and asleep yet – I’ve dosed in the chair 5hrs ago and now Im sat up in bed and wide awake!!!!!

I like being ‘different’ and not followin a ‘ridged routine’ – but this is beyond a joke now – its way beyond what anyone would call a ‘normal’ lifestyle. I can’t carry on like this, I can’t function properly, eg Friday – I was way too tired to be driving, shown by falling asleep in the Supermarket car park – what normal person does that……
BUT its a vicious cycle, can’t sleep at nights, nap through the day, so then can’t sleep at nights.

I thought today If finally broken the cycle, by staying awake all day, but a 2.30am nap has put pay to that…..my life is a mess!!!!!!

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