mixed-up mum

Hi Eve – thanks for your reply – oh I honestly dont know what is causing this ….I think I’d just a really bad habit I’ve fallen in to – and now can’t break…..

I don’t see how it can be related to my recovery – as much as I’d like to pin it on that – I don’t see how it can be – unless someone out there knows about psychology????

When I’d had a good nights sleep last night (Friday night to me, as I’m been up all Saturday night!!!) I felt good today ( Saturday) more positive, more alert, happier…..
That’s how I want to feel everyday…..

When I stayed awake all day through the day, I felt really chuffed with mesel, I’d finally broken the cycle, and I could cope so much better with daily life, but now 40winks at 2.30am, and that’s me awake still now nearing 8am – ridiculous!!!!!

Back to square one again…..

I actually would feel a bit of a ‘faud’ going to my GP with this – when I do feel its ‘self-inflicted’ – but is this bad sleep pattern really a sign of depression????

I have to ‘get a grip’ of my life – I’m so tired most of the time that I achieve very little on a day I don’t have any work to do, although I do have plenty housework I could/should be doing!!!!

I don’t really go to Docs – always try to ‘fix’ things myself – so I have never told my GP about my marriage problems – have not been to see her since leaving my abuser – its my natural in built thing that makes me want to sort it on my own – but maybe there are things I can’t fix and need help with – its that thing bout ASKING for help – I’m not very good at that…..

Maybe it’s my dads illness, and then death, that has triggered this REALLY BAD sleeping pattern, I didn’t think my abuse was affecting me any longer and I didn’t think my dads death had affected me too much – but maybe – this is it coming out in my subconscious……..

Who knows I’m no expert – but maybe some of you will have more idea than I do…….

Thanks again Eve for taking the time to reply. x*x

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