Main Moderator

Hi Finkle,

Thank you for your post and welcome to the forum. I’m really sorry to read what you are going through. I think you’ve made a very sensible decision to go to your sisters, as it sounds as though his abuse is getting worse.
We know that domestic abuse always gets worse over time and also can escalate at the time of trying to separate from an abuser. So I really encourage you to prioritise your safety.

None of this is your fault and you have not done anything wrong. The only person who has caused this and who is responsible for this is your husband; we all have a choice in how we behave, and sadly he is choosing to behave abusively. His texts saying he is going to hurt himself are a manipulative tactic; unfortunately one quite commonly used by abusers.

I’m glad you have good support from your sister and on here. I think you would also find it helpful to talk things through in confidence with a female support worker by calling the 24 hour National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247. They will not tell you what to do, but will listen, talk through your options and signpost you to any services relevant to your situation.

We are all here for you, keep posting.

Forum Moderator

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