#7929
mixed-up mum
Participant

Hi just seen this now – feel for you so much – my ex mo-in-law did never, and has never spoken up for herself and stood up to him – she just took it and accepted it like so many other women of that age did – and do still……

Yes this is what is so scary – my ex – his father – and his father before him were all like this – abusive controlling men – and I hope I can do something STOP this carrying on to my son – don’t ever want his wife/partner to put up with what I did.

This is it as you say – he went out to work to provided for his family – and to all around he seemed like a good husband and father – but this was not that case – and my ex hid it well from the outside world – and so did his father too – its only the wife/mother and the children who TRUELY know what its REALLY like to live with these men……

I know my ex sis-in-law has SAID that her father is no longer welcome in their house, and she would be delighted to have her mum stay but not her dad – she can no longer stand watching how her father treats her mother – he belittles her and makes fun of her in public – but I do wonder if she would REALLY ever keep her dad from the house…. time will tell – its really only in the last year that the ‘children’ have spoken out and decided to protect their mother and defend her – when their father make a fool of her in public, and as you say – I don’t know if their mother would have the courage to visit on her own – as they live 100s of miles apart – it cant be a day trip – it has to be for a few days at least if they are flying there to see them.

I think DEEP DOWN my ex sis-in-law DOES know what I told her about her brother IS true – she knows he did what I said – why after 20+ years would I lie to her – but she loves her brother and doesn’t want to think he did such a thing – but she knows what her own father was/is like and her grandfather before that – so she WILL have a fair idea – that these men learn by how they live – this is what they saw growing up – this is how their father treated them (and their wives) – and so it goes on and on – she knows I did not lie to her – but she is burying he head in the sand – refusing to accept I DID tell her the truth…….

I hope and pray that my daughter will NEVER let any man treat her the way I was treated – and I hope too that my son will never treat any woman the way I was treated – that’s what we wish for out children – that it will stop here and now – and not go on to another generation

Goodnight Eve – sorry to say I have been up all night again and not slept any and its now 6-15 and my kinds will be up in an hours time…..oh dear what a mess Im in …….

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