Main Moderator

Dear Backtoblack
You sound far from weak. You may have made a mistake by getting back in touch with your abusive ex, but these things often happen and you were hoping that after over 10 years things would be different.
The most important thing now is your safety. You are also concerned that your ex-husband may find out , but there is no reason why this would happen. Even if it does, it sounds like you are not going to have an on-going relationship with your ex, so you can assure him of that.
Do please call the 24 hour Domestic Violence Helpline to talk through your situation. There may also be a different and closer outreach service for you to be in contact with, and they will be able to advise you about this.
If you are concerned that he will get threatening when you say you want no more contact, as you say this would be a trigger for this, you may want to consider involving the police or getting a non-molestation order.
Do consider all the options and keep us posted.
Best Wishes

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