Hello, back to black, and welcome to the forum from me,
What I want to pick up on from your post is what your ex abuser said about him being able to find out where you are living, and the way he so say can- I really don’t think this is true, which leads me to think that he is trying to confuse you and find out that information from you- not a very good start for showing he has changed at all is it, lying and manipulating.
You are worried about what it will do to him if you walk away at this point, but I’m much more worried about what it will do to you if you don’t.
You broke free from the hold before, you can do it again.
Sometimes we do take backward steps, make mistakes or as you said mess up, sometime we get pulled back and end up in the same situation again and often it is much worse because the control and fear factor is amped up by them,
You must be having doubts about him and whether he has changed back to black to be searching here for opinions/ advice.
I would say trust you instinct ,stick to the known facts not the dream of what might be, remember the bad times and why you had to go to the extremes you did to get away, think about what you stand to lose,
You worry about the effect on your children and job should he re-enter your lives and revert to his old self, the most precious things are your children and your job gives you your security,
Seeing as you have such doubts why not pull back now, take some time and space and see if he accepts this and respects this.
Usually if they don’t get their way one way they try another so he may show his former side so please stay safe and distant
X x x

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