Hi, I’m new here

It’s been (removed by moderator) since I’ve left my abusive ex Partner,I’m going through so many different emotions and I’m sad to say the worst thing I can’t get my head around is how charming he was and how I really thought he loved me we was going to get married and was trying for a baby.sounds crazy now he manipulated me in every sense and was a compulsive lier I should have left sooner but I never thought in a million years he would threaten me and my children they were not his, and now we are apart I can see it so clear he was jealous of my children he would pick on them to get to me. I told him my children would always come first I guess that made him mad inside too! I knew he had a temper but nothing like I’ve ever seen when he finally showed his true colours when I told him the relationship was over. He told me it was my fault as during the relationship he would tell me you don’t know what I am really like and he was right I didn’t! So in should have left him sooner and now I’ve got to shut up and put up in other words. Even after everything he put me and my children through I still sit here and miss him its not normal surely I should hate him! I wish I could but I’m not made that way which is how men take advantage this is my second dv relationship in ten years I put up with it for 4 yrs the first time and that was physical. I thought I would spot the signs but this one was soo different he would have moved the earth for me its mental how he tricked me and my friends and family into believing he was the best man anyone could have met!. The sad thing is I know deep down he wanted to be that man but something wouldn’t let him or he was scared to let go or get too close I’m not making excuses I think he is vile for what he has done and I also know he has no remorse I’ve had to get an injunction on him to protect me and my children. I just feel numb and confused to how I’m back here again reliving this nightmare x

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