Hi confused 123, thanks for your reply and support. I have made first steps – 1) posting on this site and 2) have spoken to my boss (female) to put her in the picture. I have also warned her that he is likely to try discrediting me at work once he knows what is going on.

I feel there is a lot of stuff I should have recorded over the years so I am buying a voice recorder. I can use this to document historic incidents and examples as it will be quicker than writing/typing initially as I can speak into while driving to work etc which is about the only time I get to myself. Ultimately I can use it to write up stuff when have more time. I am also getting a tiny recorder that can record conversations as they happen so I can ‘catch’ his actual words on the occasions he suddenly starts on a rant. Next I am trying to get chance to call the helpline but it is hard to schedule it in when I cannot be overheard.
My boss has said that if i need to go to any counselling sessions she will give me the time off so that is helpful but I need to arrange this. Hoping the helpline will be able to assist.
As my husband has effectively cut off our son I have to make sure he is ok for money so trying to find a way to have a small amount of funding ready in case. Although I pay for pretty much everything in the home, it is my husband who somehow acquires money for our son when he needs it.
My mum may be able to help but I didn’t want to tell my family yet, especially as my youngest sister is due her first baby next week and I don’t want to put a downer on that.
It’s hard considering a split because although I have a good job and pay for everything here, there is no way I could cover his half of the mortgage too let alone buy him out. He couldn’t afford this either and that means letting go of a beautiful home forever. At my age I couldn’t get another mortgage and there is virtually no equity in the house in the current climate. It means giving up the house which I had hoped my kids would inherit one day, it’s losing their legacy.
There are so many issues to consider… Another being that our daughter has a medical condition that is easier to cope with when there are 2 of us. Husband also has a medical condition that I have to help him with but is nowhere near as impactful as daughters.
This is why the whole situation is really difficult, too much stuff, over too much time, interwoven and hard to untangle.
However I am determined to get some support and advice and have best and worst case scenarios outlined for the future.
X appin

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