Hi, thanks for the reply.

Yes I already made the decision to stop making an effort with her a few days ago. Mid conversation actually, I realised that she is no longer the person who used to say she wouldn’t push me to open up, who would be there when I was ready. I told her for months that I needed a chat and was going to tell her everything so she could understand me better then leave it in the past. It never happened.

I think I have been way too lenient with her and allowed myself to get hurt every time I kept trying.

But then the other side of that is someone who was great to me, who always made the effort and gave me time and support, and yet I constantly backed away because I was scared of abuse. I ended up losing that person and I miss him deeply.

I kept being scared of being hurt by the person who didn’t want to hurt me, and kept letting things go, and giving another person multiple chances to hurt me. I’m devastated and wish I could do over, but I can’t, I’ve lost the person I really cared about and who cared about me too for good 🙁

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