Main Moderator

Hi Sadandconfused,

I just wanted to show you some support. You have done so brilliantly and been so brave. Sadly we all know that many abusive relationships seem to be functioning perfectly normally it is just the fear that runs deep bellow the surface which would not be apparent at all in your text. His behaviour of trying to convince you that it is you that is a liar and that you are confused is also very typical and part of his plan to try and keep you trapped in your in your relationship. This tactic is called ‘gas lighting’ and means that once you are no longer feeling confident in your own perceptions and feelings you are more likely to stay in the relationship.

Please get plenty of support from your local Women’s Aid group. They will help you explore your feelings and help you rebuild your confidence.

We are all here for you.

Best wishes,


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