Hi LittleBritishPhoenix,
You are so courageous to post. You are right, whatever we bring out into the open (a safe place like this forum) will lose its power over us.
Don’t blame yourself, we’re only human. These men are cunning, know how to charm (to get a hold and power over us). We are vulnerable and want to be loved.
Attention from a man we are attracted to is very hard to refuse especially when they are putting out all the signs. It can tap into our very normal need to be loved and cherished by a man. We have been treated so badly (and used) on every level by our abusers. We just want to be loved and held.
I’m sure your situation is not as uncommon as you suspect, you have been so brave to post, it will help many ladies on here. We are very vulnerable after leaving an abusive relationship, very vulnerable to another abuser which yours definitely sounds like.
Confused123 gave great advice. Keep coming on here with your thoughts and feelings. We’ll support you in getting free from him. Try and be very gentle with yourself. This is just a set-back.