#8238
lover of no contact
Participant

Hi starmoon,

Well done for persevering and getting your supports gathered around you by coming on here. I’m so so glad you posted, I do remember you and I’m so pleased your beautiful, healthy baby girl arrived safely. I remember all your other previous posts from the last forum.

He has just done what all the other abusers do ‘the discard’. Its a 3 step process they carry out. The idealisation phase, the devaluing phase and now what he is doing to you is the ‘discard’ phase. It is abuse. It is cruel. He has just tossed you aside, when you are vulnerable (you have just had a baby). He is staying true to his pattern because you first posted when he had ‘discarded you’ when you were very vulnerable (you were pregnant).

So his pattern is discarding you. Your pattern (like nearly all of us ladies on here) is going back into the relationship when they decide. He really won’t be gone for long, you are his source of supply. He needs to have someone to abuse. If you implement strategy of ‘strict no contact’ he’ll be back. Unless he finds another ‘vicyim’ to abuse, but that takes work and you’re easier to abuse because he’s already done the hard work (its hard work for him to charm, and pretend to be nice) of breaking you in.

Keep posting and reading the posts. At the moment you are emotionally hurting badly from the abuse (the cold, callous, brutal discard) so no wonder you feel as you do.

Just take it an hour at a time. Spend time reading the other ladies posts for strength. You do not have to do this alone. We’ve been where you are now. It hurts like hell. Mind and emotions in a mess. But you will get through this, for you and your baby.

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