Hi ladies,

Thank you so much for taking the time to write, I am so sorry it has taken me AGES to reply. We had a ‘talk’ where I was honest about being keener to go than stay but that I still hoped he could change and we could work it out. He did admit he is depressed and feels he has no friends – that was a good start. I told him to go away for a week and get some space to think about what he wanted and how / if he could change. I said if things don’t then I won’t stay. I was really surprised that he actually didnt yell for once, he was just calm. He is coming home tonight and my kids were sick the WHOLE TIME he was gone!!! Ive had about 3 hours sleep a night and drowned in poopie nappies and bedding washing but I feel OK and proud that, even though things were SUPER TOUGH I did survive the week alone. I am looking forward to having some help but not necessarily him personally being back. I feel a lot more empowered since getting things so out in the open. I have told my parents and they are very supportive as are the few friends I have now told.

I don’t feel ready to ‘leave’ at the moment but I have looked into some local houses and found out my options. I had to pay a solicitor for some advice which was expensive but worth it I think. I will be calling womens aid if it goes that route, thank you for suggesting that.

You are all such brave women, it is inspiring reading your posts and that you CAN DO IT! I feel empowered just saying/typing it to be honest. Its been 4 years since I felt I could do anything, 5 or more since I felt I was good at anything. Now I am starting to see that I AM a great mum and I dont have to put up with unhappy men in my life. It feels terrifying and good at the same time…

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