lover of no contact

Hi Silkyhalide,

My abuser ex husband was doing the same to my teenage children. They testified against me in court saying they wanted to live with him. A friend said to me their love for you is as great as their fear of him. Yes he had them well and truly controlled so they sided with him. He came across calm, in control and reasonable. I was coming across in an emotional mess due to him abusing me. I couldn’t parent at all as he undermined me on every issue and they knew I had no control. I was crippled with fear. Like you I knew it was parental alienation syndrome. It ticked all the boxes and we were in a custody case as he wanted the house with me out and he wanted the children as he knew this was the greatest punishment he could bestow on me to lose the affections of my children. I was beside myself with fear.

Well guess what. He didn’t get his way. I gathered my supports around me, a support group, a forum like this one, hidden Hurt. The legal document was not adhered to in the court. My barrister knew and that he had manipulated the teenagers. Just a bit of hope for you. Hang on in there. Their minds are not lost to him. Its their fear that’s causing them to behave like this. I didn’t mentally lose my children to him. They were practically emotionally alienated from me while I was in contact with him. But once I maintained strict no contact with him, he (my abuser) seemed to lose his power to paint me in bad light. My children saw me healing and getting stronger (away from him).

Do not fear. He is not as powerful as you or your children think he is. You are the strong one. Keep posting.

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