Thank you for all your replies. I feel that my GP does not take me serious. I also asked my local WA for help. I am so traumatised from asking for help that I am actually scared to ask anymore. I began to read literature about PTSD and abuse. I hope that I find some healing when I read a lot of books. I lost trust in people and I now believe already that there is no help for me. I have to help myself somehow, most likely through reading. I have not found anything yet how to stop myself from screaming in my sleep. Sometimes my throat is sore just from screaming. My neighbours are not happy, not at all. I always look around me and I check my surrounding very carefully. I am never relaxed. Wherever I go I look out for danger. I avoid all the areas where I know he could be. I also react very scared to people who approach me fast. I prefer to spend my days off work alone at home. I do not like socializing. Sometimes I do not talk to anybody for a few days and this feels normal to me. I once was a happy outgoing girl who loved to explore the world, had lots of friends and believed in the good in people. I do not recognise myself anymore.

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