HI hun
I remember u from the old site, not sure if u remember me, It is hard when kids are involved, your right don’t ask for help , this will be hard but u can do on your own, i had days when i left thinking oh i will keep in contact cause of kids and u know what hun they really dont care, they just use to keep control of u and mess with your head. You r a lot stronger then u beleive, they break our elf esteem a lot more then we realize, continuing talking to us ladies and to womensaid, speak to your gp or midwife, most importantly keep a network so u remain strong and get support . They play so many games hun we have to be a step ahead, and u will finding talking to survivors on here we will guide u , try and do no contact even if for a while sou can mentally get strong, makes such a difference, he will wait . let him have his trantrum , cause he misses abusing u hun , they dont miss us, they miss the benefits they have lost out on by being with us, they r toxic drug and we have to wean ourselves of them , u r better than him and part of this process is learning to love ourselves again, it helps to think if that happened to my friend what would i advise her, then tell yourself well its happening to me and this is what i need to do.;..accepting it is wrong when it happens to others is easier then accepting it happend to us . TRust your gut instinct, your body will give u indirect messages,i never realized how strong the messages can be , your body will react to him as a warning sign, listen to what your brain and body is trying to tell u