In a nutshell, I’m lonely. Am still very isolated because of issues with my perp and can literally go two/three weeks without seeing anyone at all.
I don’t kbow what it is about this new man that keeps me here, i’ve given up believing him when he says he’s leaving his girlfriend or when he complains how awful she is – he’s a liar and is stringing me along. And I’m letting him.
Maybe it’s my own lonliness, maybe it’s because these issues have only in the past few months arisen and beforehand things were more or less fine, and we were really good friends aswell. Everything feels different now. I know what I’ve got to do…but the thought of never speaking to him again is horrid, it’s so final. And it’d have to be, I can’t even kid myself that taking a break would make any difference – we tried that before and didnt speak for a couple months and when we did start talking again the feelings were stronger than ever, so to cut him out would have to be forever. 🙁

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