#8439
mixed-up mum
Participant

Hi Foggy and thank you so much for taking the time to read my post and to reply.

Oh if only it were that easy……..

I’m pathetic – beyond help I think.
I’m so tired at the moment I can hardly stay awake long enough to watch the soaps!!! I never get to the end of a DVD – always sleeping before its done!!!
I don’t read – never have done – not since I was made to at school!!!!
I really honestly have no hobbies or interests, when I was married all my time was spent with him, and the kids, we never ever went out, never had a social life of any kind, I’m not the least bit sporty (I’m very overweight) I’m not the least bit arty, I’m not the least bit musical – I have no talents what so ever – I tell you I AM a lost cause………
There is absolutely nothing I enjoy doing – you have no idea how boring I am (well I expect your beginning to see that now!!!!) I have never had any hobbies or interests as there is nothing I’m good at.

This is why my life is so pathetic – all I’m asking from life is some friends who want to spend some time with me – but as I say they all either have really good lives and marriages and are happy and content – OR they have thir own worries and troubles and I don’t like to bother them.

The problem is – if I don’t ask them over they all just think I’m fine and I’m coping and I’m happy and my life is OK – BUT if I do ask them over I feel like I’m being too ‘needy’ and demanding there time and their attention.

Actually two or 3 times last year I tried to have a girly night and for various reasons it never happened (this one couldn’t come, that one couldn’t come) – that’s why I don’t like to keep on asking them – BUT if I don’t ask them they never come….I’m dammed if I do and dammed if I don’t……

I want them to MAKE time for me in their lives because the WANT to be with me and spend time with me – and not because I have ‘forced’ them to make time for me – and made them come and see me….

They all know I lost my dad a few weeks ago maybe they think (and part of me feels the same too) maybe it’s too soon to have a girly night in and have wine – maybe I should be respectful and do nothing for my birthday????

But part of me too feels like I really could do with a boost and it would be so nice if they thought enough of me to think – ‘I bet she’s feeling a bit down, let’s all get together and cheer her up’ – it would be so nice if they really made an effort to spoil me……..

Sorry got to work now – but there’s more yet I want to say be back at lunchtime……..

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