25th June 2017 at 12:20 pm #44662NovaParticipant
…just a few thoughts after reading through posts this morning..
It’s plain these ‘males’ we are/were involved with are on the scrap heap of life.
I read the lines & I try to read between the lines of what is being said.
The roller coaster of emotions laid bare. Sure it is a roller coaster…what’s clear is the fear hurt panic stress and total relief when outcomes are more positive…even the ‘small stuff’ makes a huge difference doesn’t it!
A smile a laugh, music, a chat…with friends or on here with you all…we want need have to have validation…we believe each other in this unbelievable world we found/find ourselves trapped in.
How did we get here…it wasn’t meant to be this way…is he really who I think he is…why would he want to hurt me?
Loading up their Dysfunction and throwing it at us into our lives, our lives not theirs. ? So many ? Painful and soul searching ourselves about our life about us…what have I done to deserve this?…
Nothing…because…I think it’s important, for me anyway, to remember ..we are separate beings, we weren’t born with them we don’t have to carry them we are not responsible for them we are not them &/or the s**t they shovel.
We are not We.there is NO we in life. Relationships only work if they are honest kind true have each other’s best interests at heart, reciprocal. I’m talking about men & women relationships here…I am only responsible for me.
Now I see through his game his abuse his ignorance his unintelligent unemotional unsympathetic failings…lies,consumed by anger eaten up by rage and venom…his problems not mine. Not our problems Never.
I just thank whoever! That I am me, not any of that, in fact we couldn’t be more different!
We ladies we are good people good women with morals and integrity…we know right from wrong…wanting the best lives, trying our best & struggling to find answers & make the better futures we deserve …that’s all. 🌸
28th June 2017 at 12:05 am #44757SerenityParticipant
You’re right, Cuppa. We weren’t born with them: we don’t need to feel tied to them by an I visible strong forever. They don’t own us.
It’s taken me time to get to the point where I feel separate from him, and an individual again. The trauma-bonding takes time to dissolve. But it will, ladies. Time, support and no or low contact- the three essentials for recovery x
28th June 2017 at 10:30 am #44766cupofcoffeeParticipant
Yes we are great, and strong! I think that time is a great healer and we will move on and they will be stuck with their sad lives. I still have moments when I really miss my ex, but every day we get stronger xx
5th July 2017 at 11:21 pm #45002NovaParticipant
Thanks ladies as long as we stick together and support each other with peace and love…that women share on a daily basis…the world will be a better place.
Always remember You learn much more about a person…at the END of a relationship,..than at the beginning …so true and don’t we know it.
Lots of love Cx 🌼
7th July 2017 at 7:28 pm #45047JupiterParticipant
I have been absent for a couple of weeks and have missed this contact! Yes life is nothing without our freedom.
I remember -when my kids were small-a social worker telling me I still had myself despite the losses then.Now I understand the value of her words, her wisdom.
I read a sign in a shop recently which said:
The best things in life are not things. Women are strong and resilient and I think I saw in an article somewhere
that globally the female population is about 60% .Speaks volumes and we should be proud of our strengths.
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