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after spending these last few years since I left, working on myself, doing therapy, overcoming ptsd (or so thought!), I’m back in a really bad place mentally and emotionally.
The ptsd has been triggered massively – firstly by bumping into him not so long ago, then some issues with someone who lives nearby (won’t go into it but the aggression from them has triggered me massively).
To add to that, I opened my post the other day only to realise the letter I opened wasn’t mine! It was HIS – he’s in trouble with the law again (pretty sure it’s DV related too as now asked about), and the letter was to do with that. Appears he’s used my address and said he’s living here! He hasn’t been here since I got him removed from my home years ago!Social worker is going to deal with informing the agencies that he’s given false address but she thinks I should also inform the police as she says it’s harrassment.
What do I do? Police never seem to do anything!I no longer feel I can live in this house so I’m looking to move. I’m on edge all the time and feel like I’m going to explode any minute! Got an appointment with the gp in a few weeks but tbh that seems forever away, my depression is at its worst again. Just feels like this nightmare won’t ever end!
Just when I thought life was ok the ptsd years it’s ugly head to remind me of how broken I feel inside from all the abuse that I went through. I feel like a fraud – everyone thinks I’m so strong and that I’m doing well, but I’m not. I’m a mess again and just feel so low. If I didn’t have my kids I don’t think I’d have survived this 🙁
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Hi Canon
Im sorry to hear you are struggling at the moment, it sounds like you have been doing everything you possibly can to rebuild your life and mentally and emotionally deal with what you went through. With trauma it can be easily triggered even years down the line, you may want to look into having some specific trauma therapy to help you to manage the times when you are feeling triggered.
Sounds like you put on a brave front to those around you, its ok to let that guard down to those close to you and have a good cry if you need.
We are here for you on this forum.
Take care and keep posting
Lisa
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Hi canon,
Your reactions are totally normal due to having the unfortunate contact with him. Unexpectedly bumping into him has brought you into his sphere of influence which means maybe it’s no coincidence but he wants to put himself into your head again and he’s given your address. I wouldn’t act at the moment and just wait til these triggered feelings pass and then if there’s any action to take (like moving house etc); take it from a place of calm.
We always run the risk of being hoovered back into contact with them even decades if having left them. That goes for me and all the other ladies in here. But if we’re aware and engaging with this Forum we can put up the barrier of No Contact to keep ourselves safe.
Can you do minimum contact with aggressive neighbor too. Hi and Bye only. We’re livibg in Abuser-ville these days. Lots of them out there in the workplace and in our neighborhoods which can knock us back.
You’ve just had 3 big horrible , triggering experiences involving abusers. Hang on in there your feelings will get back to normal.
And keep posting as you need
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Hi thanks for the replies, I managed to get a telephone appointment with my gp and she’s adjusting my antidepressants and seeing me next week now, pretty sure the ptsd has been triggered off again & im trying my best to manage it as much as possible but it’s really hard 🙁
Today has been the first day in ages where I felt a little more settled, feeling really low but wasn’t on edge as much today, but regardless of what I’ve been doing – his face keeps coming in my head, memories of the hell he put us through, follows by horrific memories of other traumas from when I was younger.
Just trying to get through a day at a time atm, I hate that man for what he did to me and my kids, and knowing he’s carried on and done it over & over to someone else makes me feel sick and so angry!I just feel like such a mess at the moment, my life was in such a good place, it took me a long time to work through so much that I’ve been through, my children have been making amazing progress – one of them in particular has really struggled due to the abuse from my ex and I cany express how much it’s filled my world with joy to see him starting to flourish again, we all still have a long way to go and I know we will get there. I just feel like mentally and emotionally I’ve taken such a massive step backwards again, to suddenly have all of this back in my head, having to avoid so many things – songs on the radio, tv, certain places & people etc to minimise the amount of flashbacks – but even with doing that they’re still there 🙁
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