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    • #117844
      Madmam
      Participant

      So I have a time slot of 4 days between (detail removed by Moderator) and (detail removed by Moderator) where I can finally break things off with my partner. The kids will be with their dad so this is the best way.

      So I need advice. Lots of it!

      We live apart and we don’t have kids together.

    • #117846
      GreenSapphire
      Participant

      Hmmm… I escaped from mine one night and only returned to get all my things with help from others but we lived together at the time. I escaped first and sent him a text telling him it was over and shut down my phone. No-one knew where I was, I did that to keep myself safe.

      He knows where you live I assume? If so, is it possible you leave your house and go stay with a friend or relative for those 4 days and more if possible, after you have delivered the news? Perhaps when you return to your home, a friend or relative could stay another couple of nights with you so that you feel safer?

      What sort of security do you have on your home if any? A security light and camera at the front door and back door if you have one would give you added safety and security. Also, if he has had access to your house as in he has used your front door key, it’s a good idea to change the locks.

    • #117848
      GreenSapphire
      Participant

      Plus… block his number and/or change your phone number is another thing I would recommend. You can also change your email address or divert any emails coming from his address into your spam/junk/trash folders.

    • #117851
      KIP.
      Participant

      If you feel you will be in danger then speak to your local domestic abuse police and let them know. They can put a marker on your phone and address in case he turns up. Make sure all your belongings are out of his and that his belongings are out of your home, don’t leave him an excuse to come round. Dump his stuff at a mutual friend and then tell him. Then either change your number or block his but make sure he knows you do not wish any further communication.

    • #117855
      Madmam
      Participant

      Thanks you two. Good advice. Usually when I we’ve had a row before, he will retreat to his place and drink beer. I think he withdraws his company as punishment to me for standing up to him. So I’m not sure if he will do anything like come around straight away anyway. That might happen later when he knows I’m serious this time.

      The last time I asked for space I was (detail removed by Moderator) weeks post (detail removed by Moderator) surgery and he didn’t contact me/ask about me for (detail removed by Moderator) days, even though he knew I was back at work with 2 kids at school and couldn’t even put my socks on.

      I need to figure out how to get my belongings from his place before I tell him. But I’ll probably be at his place during that time so I’ll quietly pack the few bits while he’s not looking.

      I will have to block his number alright…. And change the locks.

      I’m waiting till after Xmas so as not to spoil it for the kids, who are fond of him.

    • #117858
      KIP.
      Participant

      If the kids are fond of a man who abuses you, that’s a cause for concern. They pick up on more than we know.

    • #117860
      Madmam
      Participant

      If the kids are fond of a man who abuses you, that’s a cause for concern. They pick up on more than we know.

      Ain’t that the truth…. I also know that apart from being fond of him, they are a little fearful.

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