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So felt I just really needed to reach out and i never really know how to put things or what to say!
I am (removed by moderator) years on from leaving an abusive relationship and there are so many positives that I am hugely grateful for but it’s sometimes when things are going so well I seem to struggle, like I go back to those times and wonder why now, why does this always seem to happen when good things happen in my life.. just wondered is this just me ? It can make me feel so confused and alone at times.I guess on the one hand I feel wow I have achieved so much and I am suddenly thriving and doing things at one point wouldn’t have been possible and then it seems to hit me and I go back to all the negative memories and back in that time almost.. just can feel why now and will this ease or if not how can I turn this into a drive to keep moving forward..
I hope any of this made some sense just feeling a little lost at times x
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Hi, have you had counselling? Trauma from abuse can stay with us for a lifetime so counselling was hugely important for me to work though the feelings. Abuse robs us of self esteem and confidence. Many of us are life with PTSD x I learned so much through therapy, lots of coping mechanisms for when those feelings surface x
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Hey x
I did have counselling a while ago but maybe it is something I could try again . Yes that is so true think having some coping mechanisms would be really helpful as currently it surfaces and I feel almost consumed by it again which is so frustrating and thank you for replying it just really helps to reach out! Xx
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I’ve been out of my relationship a long time too, but my relationship was long so I had years of a very typical cycle of abuse where good times were followed by huge dramatic crashes. Therefore I think when things have been going well for a while it is natural for me to still get really jumpy in anticipation of things going wrong. As we have kids, and (detail removed by Moderator) and accusations are an ongoing issue, I find that I am still trapped into this cycle to an extent – when my ex goes quiet and well behaved for a while is when I always feel worst as its always followed by new major issues.
What has helped me the most is actually CBT. It has allowed me to come to terms with my current situation, and the ongoing nature of our situation. I have also had counselling, as well as still speaking to my women’s aid worker every few months. I find that these things all help with different aspects, so perhaps you could try some other options too?
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Thank you so much and sending hugs to you!
I have only really opened up once through counselling but have never spoken to someone from women’s aid so may be something..
I am so sorry for what you have been through too
It can be so hard and even when I reach out now I question myself it’s so frustrating!
I have never really thought into other types of support so may be helpful!Thank you x
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