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    • #135206

      This is following on from a similar post, hoping someone can offer me some advice or point me in the right direction.
      I own a property with my ex and am living there with him still, since splitting in (detail removed by Moderator). My decision.
      He has made it clear he does not wish to leave or sell up until our fixed rate ends in almost (detail removed by Moderator) years time. For me, this is unacceptable.
      If he is unable to buy me out until then, which would be my first choice, I would consider re ting a property for the children and I. Does this effect my righrs over the property? We own as joint tenants and I worry as my entire life savings have been invested in this property.
      Secondly, I would need to claim benefits to rent. IWhen do I apply for this? I am going to really struggle and I will have a fight to get money or helo from him, at least to begin with. Do I apply now whilst still living with him so I know for definite what I am entitled to and am ready to go. Or do I wait til I am out and risk it taking months to assess my claim?

    • #135208

      No. You get out. First. then you deal with everything else.
      Your health and safety is at risk by the sound of it and bxxger the finances.

      If you are no longer alive it does not matter how much you have in savings!

      No, you don’t apply now. You MOVE and then apply.

      No need to ask him for permission for anything ! ?

      (detail removed by Moderator)

    • #135222

      Whilst I see what your saying, I am not in any danger at the moment. I am purely trying to plan ahead and he has no clue at the moment. I have spoken to my local emergency housing team and they have said that as I am a homeowner and work (detail removed by Moderator) hours a week, they cannot help me when I leave. They have suggested arranging a private rental to go straight to whilst I sort this out. However, the benefits checker doesnt really help in my case!! And there is no way I can afford the rental without some sort of financial assistance or benefits until such time as he buys me out or sells up and gives me my share

    • #135228
      Wants To Help

      Hi Bestchance,

      I also had difficulties getting any financial help by being a home owner. Like you, I had a mortgage with my abuser as joint tenants and he also wouldn’t co-operate with the sale of the house. He also refused to pay any costs towards the mortgage and I was struggling with the upkeep. I applied for benefits and was refused on the grounds that I wasn’t ‘hard up’ because I had equity in the house. The response from the benefits department (DWP) was that if I could no longer afford the house then it would have to be sold to release the equity buy somewhere cheaper! I appealed this at a tribunal on the basis that I could not sell the house without the permission/consent of the other owner and they were not responding to legal letters etc, so I was then given legal advice to get a Force of Sale Order (which I was told was expensive and could take years) that would give me the power to sell without the other owner’s consent. This did not help me in the short term at all, but in my situation I was in the house with my son and my abuser was living elsewhere.

      I fully understand the financial difficulties this will cause you. The good news is that it will not impact on your entitlement to any of the equity if you do leave. As joint tenants, you do not have to pay one penny towards the mortgage once you leave and you will still be entitled to the equity it builds up until the point of sale, not the value of the house at the time of leaving it. The downside of this is…

      If he fails to pay the mortgage too then you will be equally liable for the arrears and the bad credit that comes with it.

      If he allows the house to go in to disrepair so that it decreases in value then obviously your share of the equity will go down at the point of sale.

      I have come across some cases where the abuser has deliberately trashed a house in order for it to devalue and go in to negative equity so that the woman gets nothing but more debt. Some abusers would rather bring themselves down too in order to destroy their ex. Would your husband do this?

      It is a really tough decision for you to make here. It’s not that simple to just ‘get out’ at all when funding the cost of a new place to live and trying to ensure you don’t end up with an unpaid mortgage and debts that you are legally responsible for but not created are to be considered. I’m sure that if you were being seriously assaulted you would reconsider, but at this time you are not.

      Do you think that if you did move out your husband would reconsider selling once he knew you were serious about leaving? At the moment, you haven’t left and he is telling you things that he believes will keep you there for a few more years and, therefore, still holding the power. If you do go, could he afford the mortgage by himself? Would he pay it by himself? Is his credit rating and not allowing the mortgage to fall in to arrears important to him? Would he keep the house nice or let it become run down?

    • #135269

      Thank you Wantstohelp. I really think it will give him a kick up the bum and show I am serious but really struggling to find somewhere I could afford. Each place I have enquired about so far, I do not earn 3 x the monthly rent so its an instant no!!
      I feel so trapped right now.
      I did consider him potentially wrecking the house, but the whole reason he is resisting selling is as he loves this place. Its his investment. Its his castle and I am just a squatrer (detail removed by moderator) at the moment.
      He currently pays all the mortgage and bills, I oay all childcare, food and hobbies. It was my life savings that went down as the deposit.

    • #135281

      I had really good advice from Citizens Advice about what benefits I would be entitled to in different scenarios. They were brilliant. I’d advise giving them a call.

      • #135663

        Thanks Eggshells. I did in fact do that. I have had my interview with universal credit and have a place lined up, just waiting to hear back from estate agent whether landlord will accept me based on my earnings. My case was tricky as self employed and employed.
        I am really panicking though as they could not tell me exactly how much I will get. I showed them the figures from CAB and they just shrugged and would not commit.
        How accurate were they in your case? I need them to be pretty accurate as not banking on any financial assistance from ex at this point

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