29th March 2016 at 10:34 pm #12502SerenityParticipant
I’ve felt very free in the last few weeks- realised what he was.
But if I needed a nudge to remind me of how lucky I am to be free of him, I have had it this week.
I’ve had someone staying in my house this week who is ( actually a female ) so much like my ex in character- selfish, domineering, dictatorial, manipulative, entitled.
This person appeared so charming at first ( they were a stranger to me a week ago) and went out of their way to appear giving and nice. But within two days, the domination started. This person isn’t related to me, nor knows us well, but was trying to oust my children from their safe routine! I can’t be too specific.
I think I could sense from Day 1 that they were a perp ( glad I learned something from the Freedom sessions!) but I felt sorry for this person. For two days, I went out of my way to help them.
Today, they went way out of control with taking advantage. I was worried how to stand up to them- still didn’t want to hurt their feelings- but even my family could see how dreadful this person was being.
I did tell them straight. I wasn’t rude, but just got very annoyed and stood my ground.
I wish I didn’t always feel guilty when standing up to these people who appear vulnerable, but in fact take full advantage and don’t actually care two hoots about you. You’re just a means to an end.
Even my sons were telling me how awful this person was behaving.
I think my ex actually enjoyed people coming into the house and upsetting my routine and taking advantage. It was his passive aggressive way of upsetting my peace. He did this at critical times during my studies. Even his mates had more empathy for me. If I ever stated that I felt unhappy, I was criticised. Maybe I still hear him whispering on my shoulder.
But all I know is, I would have rather it all erupted horribly than be a victim again. I will never let anyone use me like my ex did ever again. It took me two days, but I’d had my fill after 48 hours!
29th March 2016 at 11:36 pm #12517AyannaParticipant
This means you are fully prepared for a life free from abuse. It cannot happen again.
I also had an experience with a female who pretended to be my friend and then turned out to be a perp. Her entitled and controlling behavior was disgusting and she was jealous of my flat. She went into all my things and took whatever she liked. That was the end of a very short friendship. She also appeared to be so nice initially. Since this last experience I do not even attempt anymore to make friends. For some reason I seem to attract the wrong people, males and females. Now I prefer to be by myself and enjoy my peaceful life.
29th March 2016 at 11:51 pm #12522SerenityParticipant
Yes, this person took my things too!
There are good people about ; I hope you can trust again, Ayanna – but for now, just enjoy being you and being free xxxx
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