31st October 2021 at 4:44 pm #133264FeelinglikeafoolParticipant
Last weekend was awful, crying all the time and feeling really miserable. But this one was surprisingly nice! Haven’t been anywhere or done anything much, other than pootle around the house, do some cleaning, listen to music and watch a film. But it was lovely to have some quiet space and do what I wanted for a change, and made me realise how much of a nightmare weekends used to be before. I realised how I would rather just have my own company than have to listen to him ranting on all the time, being talked over and feeling like my wants and feelings were irrelevant. I was constantly on edge before and it feels lovely to just “be”.
Thanks to everyone who commented on my little crisis the other day, it really helped, and I know that this forum will play a huge part in my healing cos it’s lovely to talk to women who really “get it”. I don’t think it’s possible unless you’ve been there, so thankyou x
31st October 2021 at 4:50 pm #133265KIP.Participant
Hey, weekends and nights were awful for me for a long time but then like you I began to appreciate the simple things and the peace in my life. You’re absolutely right. I remember walking in eggshells. Being ambushed for some perceived slight. Having to tiptoe round him. Forgetting to ask him if he wanted a cuppa and having to sit through his pathetic delusional nonsense about how I don’t care and he’s at the bottom of the pecking order. Good riddance to bad rubbish. Someone else’s problem now x enjoy that peace, that inner peace too x it’s only going to get better 💕
31st October 2021 at 5:33 pm #133266
Hey can I tell you about my weekend it may help?
So (detail removed by Moderator) was spent being moaned at for lots of different reasons one is because i was doing the washing when thats a job i should be doing in the week but now i have a job he says i dont do it because i put my job b4 the family. We then went out I didnt want to but he insisted then complained becuase i didnt wear tights and looked too skinny. (detail removed by Moderator) we took our lad out and he moaned all the way there was grumpy as and still is now wanting sex as a thank you for taking the lad out. He is now even more grumpy as tomorrow is monday and i am woeking apparently I am doing my nails (detail removed by Moderator) as i am having an affair. He is being very needy and keep telling me how i love my job more than him and how ive changed and how he doesnt like it
I hate weekends theres nowhere to hide from it. Yes this weekend its just tiny little things silly really and I shouldnt moan but this was a pretty good weekend compared to some.
Im so glad you are out and it sounds like you had the perfect weekend good on you. Keep healing keep talking and keep looking after you xxxx
31st October 2021 at 5:44 pm #133267
Sorry point of my post was listening to stories from those of you who broke free really help me helps me see one day it could be me too.
I am hoping that by sharing my story now will remind those of you who left and are struggling whats it really like. Big hugs xxxx
1st November 2021 at 12:00 pm #133295FeelinglikeafoolParticipant
I really hope you can get out soon. Mine was so needy, he couldn’t stand me even replying to my daughter’s texts or my work emails. Every time I left to go home he would prolong it by inventing a drama or saying he didn’t feel well. Then he had the audacity to say I was needy and not strong enough for him?!
It’s actually laughable in a sick way. Sending love and strength to you x
1st November 2021 at 5:38 pm #133307
@feelinglikeafool I am so sorry i didnt mean to take your positive post to a negative one that wasnt my intention, those of you who have left are always such a string source of support to those of us still here I just wanted to give you a gentle reminder (not that we ever forget) what its like when you are still unsure still not quite there so you never go back so that you continue to thrive grow and enjoy life.
Your weekend sounds perfect and I wish you many many more. Xxxxxx
1st November 2021 at 12:56 pm #133298gettingtiredParticipant
It’s amazing how many women say they hate weekends for this reason. For me, I work weekends sometimes (he doesn’t work) so it can be any day of the week really depending on when my days off are. I’ve actually recently dropped a day at work as I couldn’t cope with him always complaining about me being at work and how lonely/bored he apparently is and how we never get to do anything together because I’m always working which in reality is ridiculous as I’m young and shouldn’t be just working part time to suit someone else. The joke of it is, when I am on a day off, it’s always down to how he’s feeling on the day or if he has plans himself as to whether we do something anyway. I can’t ever plan ahead and make plans with him as if he’s not feeling up to it on the day then it won’t happen. It’s unbelievable selfishness.
What I have noticed is I always feel much calmer and less stressed when I go back to my parents. I’m only hypervigilent about him texting or calling but as he’s not physically there I can relax a bit more than if I was with him. The problem is I do get this pangs of missing him which is what is still keeping me stuck.
I’m so glad you’re out now and can relax in peace without the chaos. Xx
1st November 2021 at 3:50 pm #133300BananaboatParticipant
Oh ladies how I can relate to these posts. I hate weekends. They centre around him and his child with an ex. Me and mine can’t plan as it has to be based around his wants, needs, hangover but he can just come/go as he pleases. His mates get priority, the kids are an annoyance to him and Sunday’s are either lovely or hell. I long for the days when I can sit in silence and do my own thing. Enjoy every second! And keep telling us, it gives those of us still living it, hope xx
1st November 2021 at 5:09 pm #133305EggshellsParticipant
“It’s actually laughable in a sick way.”
That’s exactly what I thought but wasn’t sure if I dare say it. So liberating to be able to laugh at them rather than be scared of them.
It’s so good to read about you enjoying your freedom. Thank you for your post; it’s given me pause for thought.
I’m currently living with my family and spending alot of time with my sister. I love being with her and her family and I’m worried that I’ll be lonely when I finally get my own place. I’ve never lived alone before.
Reading your post makes me think that maybe I need to start approaching this from a different perspective. Not lonely – alone when I want to be to give me the space I need.
Now that lockdown is lifted I can start to join some groups and see my new home as a sanctuary where I can just take time to be me.
Thanks my lovely for an uplifting post and I wish you many more relaxed weekends ahead. xx
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