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Emotions are shot to pieces feeling like the safety net is being taken away from me ,I just know the feelers are out for me with him and money just got a funny feeling he might try to make things difficult for me, or that he might know where I am and what I am doing ,he can’t stand to see me happy just when I was on the cusp of feeling ok the rug is being pulled and I just know it his him ,even if not directly I just Know he is out there thinking bad of me either because he is having a bad day or things are not ok ,I have had a bill through the door from (detail removed by Moderator), I do not have a contract with them , for over (detail removed by Moderator) pounds that’s how it usually starts when he taps in to me, Because The police don’t know what really happened I can’t prove it I think he is still using my name where do I start with this one, I signed up with a therapy group not the sort of counselling I need , Didn’t really appreciate the fact not all on the same level and all different problems all done by zoom just focuses on wellbeing doesn’t really give me the chance to express my feelings maybe one to one counselling after this well-being course if they decide to offer it, I just want to shut my eyes away from it all and close the door ,, I wish he could get on without me it is not a genuine need for me , what’s the point in co-existing when all you do is fight, He is so manipulative and conceited ,by hurting me he is only hurting himself penalized for bearing his bad choices, his co-dependency is a real burden I just can’t help but feel that I am going down that road again I don’t want to be a crowd pleaser ,Anyway a real blessing just to be able to sign post at least if it does escalate ,I could move on again and it is all sign posted, I feel like I am being stripped all over again my identity emotionally psychologically I think will there be a day that he won’t want to use me for his own ends I thought things were at an end and he no longer needed me feeling alone not many genuine out there these days
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Hi Door mouse,
This all sounds really hard. It’s normal to feel on high alert and worry that he might know where you are, especially when something like getting correspondence for an account you didn’t set up happens. With the bill you received, you might want to call the company and speak to them about the account being set up in your name. Get their customer service number from their official website, just in case the bill you received is a scam and has a fake number on it.
It’s good that you have reached out and are trying the therapy group, even though it’s turned out not to be helpful for you. Not every kind of therapy is right for everyone but hopefully you’ll be able to access 1-to-1 counselling through them. If not, you could speak to your GP about counselling or contact the local domestic abuse service to see if this is something they offer or can point you in the direction of.
Take care and keep posting,
Lisa
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