Abuse at work …

[Ayanna]

All I learn about abuse can be applied in my daily life.
As I gain more confidence I will soon stand up to the abusers at work.
I am going to name every single tactic they use.
I have learned abuse in every dirty detail, I know the tactics.
They do not have my knowledge.
All their covert bullying will be out in the open.
I am going to look for a new job.
Nobody should suffer abuse.
I keep looking for a non abusive work place.

[lover of no contact]

Ayanna,

That is me too. I am working in a workplace where they are many people (including boss) who want Power and Control over all the people they come in contact with in the workplace. I too recognise their tactics so well. The cycle of abuse is played out there from month to month. They intimidate and put in fear others they come in contact with and then can be ‘manipulative nice.’ Not everyone sees it so most are taken in. I am not taken in, I see it clearly. I am trying to have minimum contact with these work colleagues but this can be hard to do.

I want to look at my part in it. I have reduced my hours so I am only part-time working in ‘a cycle of abuse’. This makes it more manageable for my emotions.

I have seen others who have started in my abusive workplace and chose to let go and move on. I find it hard to let go and move on. I stay. I make excuses eg, the commute is easy, my hours are good, I love the work.

I try to stay by saying to myself to concentrate on the non-abusive people in the workplace. Unfortunately this is none of my work colleagues as even the non abusive people are living in the abuser’s reality and are heavily influenced by them in a negative way (at times towards me and others).

I try to stay by saying to myself that probably other workplaces have the same dynamic.

I try to stay by trying to go more and more No Contact discreetly. But complete No Contact is impossible and could only be done by leaving.

I’m waiting for a job to jump into my lap but not really putting much effort into looking for one. A bit of effort but not much.

I too believe that all their covert bullying will one day be out in the open. In their arrogance they think they are untouchable. They are not. All of our behaviours have consequences. They will trip up.

I too need to put time into looking for a new job. I am choosing to suffer abuse by staying there (character assassination, put-downs, undermined, etc).

I need to put effort, time and energy into looking for a non-abusive workplace.

[Ayanna]

I know where to apply for a new job next week. I can work anywhere. They think they are clever but I will not stay, because nothing will change.
I do not fight against windmills. I want a peaceful life.
I can even leave the country and work abroad, because I speak another language. The sky is my limit.
I am learning my worth … for the first time.

[lover of no contact]

Ayanna,

Please keep me posted on how you manage to leave your abusive work-place. The steps you are taking. The energy and the effort you put in to finding another job. I need to do it too. I need to walk away. I need to make a choice not to be on the receiving end of abuse in my workplace. I’m finding it hard to put effort into finding a non abusive set-up for my job.

Maybe you can be my role-model lol

[Dragonfly]

I have one person at my work who is like this, very covert. I’ve known her for years. I try to avoid her but we’re in the same team. She always tries to stomp all over my ideas and suggestions at meetings. However Friday was a real eye opener. Everyone shot her down in flames, defended me and ultimately agreed with me. There’s now a new procedure in place for a process I thought could be done better. Hooray for me. I know it’s extremely difficult in a work situation tho.

[Ayanna]

I found two jobs which I like and I am going to apply for both.
At the same time will I start to prepare for the interviews.
Both jobs sound better for me than my current job.

[Author]

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