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    • #12965

      At the refuge they told me that if I didn’t suffer abuse from my husband I would receive it from my children.
      How right they were…

      I keep trying to arm myself with patience and forms of ignorance…

      I came back to test myself, test the situation, in order to make a decision. Thank God my friend is on the end of a telephone…She helps me so much, but I feel I disturb her so much…

      And the abuse goes a long way because it gets used against me to make it sound like I cause it…My friend tells me there is a solution to this, it is called divorce.

      Everything I do, say, or seem to cause apparently, gets reported by my husband, it is all used against me and explained according to his understanding of any situation whereas I say absolutely nothing, write nothing, get in touch with no one except my friend. How devious is that? It all gets transformed. I let him do that, if that is his choice of behaviour so be it! I read his warning texts and messages, it is all mixed up, all contrite, all threatening, the messages are so long, I just feel numb. But it hurts to see your family behave like that. I read messages where he talks about having spoken to certain people and what they say, he speaks about my own friends whom apparently I was nasty to, he speaks about the neighbours etc…the list goes on. I also get told I have a lover…

    • #12966

      I just don’t understand humans…

    • #12969
      Serenity
      Participant

      Hi Bridget,

      You did your best. You came home because you felt motherly concern, and this was proof of it.

      That they have decided to behave this way doesn’t mean you need to accept it.

      Maybe whilst you are in that house, with both him and the kids, it will be a pressure-cooker and abuse will continue.

      Hard though divorce is, financially, emotionally etc, maybe it’s the only way you can start to feel peace.

      Once you build a life doing the things you enjoy and give you peace, your children can choose to visit you and there will be a distance there that engenders respect. Whilst he is in the mix, twisting everything you do, it’s like a never-ending struggle. And I fear for your emotional and mental wellbeing.

      Xxxx

    • #12970
      Serenity
      Participant

      PS I know your experience of leaving home was to be in a refuge, which had its problems.

      Living in a place of your own would be completely different.

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