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    • #115335
      Nolove
      Participant

      Something that is really hurtful to say and still trying to work my way through the woods. Is it normal to feel your always going to be abused with gaps of being safe like I fleed away from my mum and now in a refuge so although I’m not experiencing abuse now but a lot of distress mentally and physically the impacts its had on me which I know will take time to work through those impacts. I feel like I’ve broke free from the abuse from my mum but I live in fear that I’m going to be a target of abuse now when I move on from this refuge and evan in the refuge surroundings. Evan though your told it’s safe in a refuge, I dont feel safe, I feel terrified. With regards to the abuse from my mum I dont know if my feelings and thoughts are valid. I feel like some days I grieve but some days I dont grieve. I don’t miss my mum at all. I hadn’t had a hug from her for I dont evan remember how long. I think about the lies she is telling everybody else so I get sent back to her house so she can keep controlling me which also terrifies me being forced to go back there.

    • #115336
      KIP.
      Participant

      You won’t always feel this vulnerable. All our self confidence is stripped away by abuse and it take a long time and baby steps to get to feeling safe. So just take your time, don’t put extra pressure on yourself. It took me a long time to trust anyone including myself. I was very paranoid. Just take one day at a time and slowly your confidence in yourself will return x

    • #115340
      Nolove
      Participant

      KIP I spoke to staff here about residents carry on leaving the back doors unlocked and one of the staff said it’s because most residents feel safe here so thats just in validation of me still feeling unsafe. I’m going to feel this way until the day I die. Granted I suffer psychosis and paranoia. I looked on the CCTV footage of the back garden lastnight and I saw something really scary. Ofc this can be a big step up for abusers to abuse me because I have these challenges/vulnerabilities so it’s okay for abusers to abuse me. Defo one day at a time though, (detail removed by Moderator) 🙂 x

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