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    • #130042
      iliketea
      Participant

      Anyone else had this experience. Had someone doing some work in the garden (removed by moderator), he did a really bad job, I pointed it out half way through and he was just rude, he finished it and I said it was wrong and he got really nasty. It was so similar to my ex that I think I got triggered, Im not sure why but I just paid him and asked him to go, I can’t really remember what I even said, I just wanted him to leave. I was so scared. Heart was racing, I was shaking, it was (removed by moderator) hours ago and Im still really triggered, keep checking the back door and looking out to see if he’s come back. And most of all Im really upset about the work because I can’t afford to get someone else to come and fix it, I’d saved up to get it done, it was a birthday present to myself and it just looks really s**t and Im going to have to look at it and see it as a reminder of yet another bullying man getting one over on me. Feel really s**t about myself for giving in, but he was really frightening, big, and had already told me about people he knew in prison and other stuff like that.

      How do you stop things like this happening. Im seeing misogyny everywhere at the moment, its really depressing me.

      Went to stay with a friend at the weekend and he had a massive go at one of my children, really shouting at him over nothing at the dinner table and made him go and (removed by moderator) and told him that was all he would get to eat. My child was beside himself, I said it wasn’t on and he couldn’t speak to my child like that, especially after all that we had been through – and he did go and apologise to him – BUT I was then given the silent treatment until we left by his wife and her friends. My friend apologised to me. But STILL, it happened, and he did it, why do men think this stuff is ok? This type of casual easy bullying, all, the, time.

      Then the bloke on the news in Plymouth. Arggh, I don’t like today.
      Its been a really horrible day.

    • #130054
      Eggshells
      Participant

      Oh my goodness, this sounds awful. I’m so sorry you had to go through this and yes, I have had similar experiences, many times.

      In the past I have made complaints directly to trading standards. You could even try sending your story to Watchdog but you’d have to bare in mind that if they took your story, your ex might see it.

      We see it all the time don’t we, men bullying others. Have you ever noticed that aggressive drivers and road ragers are nearly always just another angry man.

      Sadly, our society still encourages male dominance. I’ve written about this before and I’m sure that people could come up with so many examples. Consider for a moment what all if these things imply.

      Mr versus Miss or Mrs
      “Who gives this woman away?”
      “I now pronounce you man and wife.”
      House of Lords but no House of Ladies.
      Gender pay gap.
      In 2/3 of households, the main carer is female and she won’t be paid for the care she gives.
      Go into any toy shop and notice the gender stereotyping.
      Girls still play netball at school whilst boys play football or rugby.
      Girls wear skorts for PE boys wear shorts.
      Count the number of skin care and beauty adverts for women compared to those for men.
      How many school girls do you know with short haircuts?
      Jack the lad versus s**g.

      The list goes on and on and the messages are so heavily embedded in our society that most people don’t even notice them.

      Women – be pretty, caring and belong to someone.

      Men – own the women, earn the big bucks, be the boss.

      If we don’t comply, they’ll bully us into compliance.

      I hope that you have been able to calm down a little. If I’m honest, I like a good slug of whisky at times like this!

      Don’t be afraid to complain about this man. xx

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