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Hello everyone, this is my first time posting, and I appreciate any insights you can share. I’ve been in a relationship for (detail removed by Moderator), with my partner living with me for a significant portion of that time. While there are positive aspects, I find myself questioning some behaviors that I’m unsure how to interpret.
Early on, I disclosed a past that my partner seemed to take issue with, leading to some disrespectful comments and behaviors. For example, there have been instances where I felt humiliated over my clothing choices, and he has reacted strongly if he perceives any threat to our relationship.
During a trip to handle a family matter, my partner bombarded me with calls and expressed jealousy over my interactions with others. While he has been working on himself through therapy since (detail removed by Moderator), there are still concerning moments where he appears to struggle with control, often needing reassurance about my feelings and actions.
Recently, a seemingly minor incident escalated into a major confrontation, leaving me feeling frightened and vulnerable. Despite acknowledging his mistakes after these outbursts, I am left wondering if these patterns indicate deeper issues, such as insecurity or something more troubling.
I would appreciate any advice or perspectives on whether these behaviors could be classified as abusive or if they stem from insecurities. Thank you for your help.
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Hello and welcome, sorry you find yourself here and perhaps by posting you already know the answer to your question deep down. You’re only (detail removed by Moderator) into the relationship and note he’s already moved in (potential red flag as no one moves in faster than an abuser), you’re already experiencing negative comments on clothes/friends and you can’t talk to him about your worries without him turning it into a fight or similar about leaving him. Not to mention you now feel scared around him after an incident.
Lovely, if this was your best mate, sister or daughter what advice would you be giving them?
Your home should be your safe space. After a year you’d probably still expect to be in a good place with your partner & enjoying discovering who each other are not trying to change them. There’s a lot of red flags here but ultimately – are you happy? x
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Hello there,
I feel so horrible that you have to be going through this. I wish I had the courage to mentor or counsel women who have these issues but I’m in need of help myself. I’m sorry but this behavior won’t get better. It will only get worse. Loving relationships are not like this. You should be able to feel comfortable and at ease with your partner. This person seems to be very insecure and unhappy with themselves. This is not a good relationship to be in
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