abuse or lack of love

[mom1]

i am new here so thanks for listening. I was with my ex who just left a few months ago for (detail removed by moderator). I truly thought he was the one. We have had our ups and downs. He has had many jobs over the years and when he decides to just quit one i work all the overtime to pick up the slack(detail removed by moderator). We have a daughter who is in elementary school and lives with me. He cheated (detail removed by moderator) times during our marriage and lied alot. I feel he just used me to work to pay for his fun. He left when our daughter was born years ago and i begged him back like always. (pathetic i know). everytime he came back he said im here because i love you, but i felt there was always something wrong so i would try to talk to him about it and he would say “its always something with you”. and he would say he is sick of it and leave, i would beg and he would come back and say he loved me and this would happen over and over between all the cheating. He spent most of the money on (detail removed by moderator)and new i would work 80 hours a week to take care of things. He hung on to the money cause he said i was not good at budgeting. He never hit me but he said it was my fault he would get so mad. When he left he said he was not in love with me for a long time, and there are things i need to fix about myself. i know now all the times he said he loved me was a lie, but the whole time he made me feel crazy for thinking something was wrong when it was. i feel very used and worthless.

[Lisa]

Hi there Mom1, welcome to the forum, I hope you will find it a supportive place.

It is important to remember that domestic abuse doesn’t just include physical violence it can also include the verbal and emotional abuse you are describing in your post. The behaviour you are describing is very cruel and it is understandable that this has impacted on the way you are feeling.

If you would would to get some ongoing support, you could contact your local domestic abuse service, they would be able to offer some practical and emotional support. You could also access some support from Women’s Aid through the Live Chat.

Best wishes

Lisa

[Wisewords]

Awwww bless you. I have been through and going through something similar. My husband didn’t have affairs (as far as I am aware) but he did so many other things that just rocked me to my core. How are you managing emotionally? I have not long joined this site so am still finding my way around. Do you have a support network of friends and family ? I found throwing myself into work helps. If you need anyone to talk to drop me a line. Take care. Your better off without the c**p but it takes ages before we realise xx

[mom1]

I am having a really hard time. I hate feeling alone. I miss him and I don’t even know why. I cant sleep and think about him all the time. I always feel like everything is my fault. I did check his phone and question where he was, but after all the times he cheated he said i just trust him and I couldn’t. Now we live in 2 different states and he still calls our daughter every day. We do not talk except through text on payday when i get child support. He gets upset that i don’t send him pictures and report cards of hers and he says it makes him sad and he feels like he is being punished. (its always about him and how he feels) but i feel like i don’t owe him anything if he wants pictures of her he can tell her and she can send them. its been (detail removed by moderator) months and he has not bothered to ask how I am. he really just doesn’t care. How can someone just use you up and then throw you away?

[Author]

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