Viewing 6 reply threads
  • Author
    • #12987

      A friend of mine, who was in an abusive relationship, said that she realised that what her ex showed her was ‘the opposite of love.’

      I agree. My abuser’s reactions were directly opposite of what you’d expect of a loving partner.

      That then got me thinking : not only did our abusers limit us, but they tried to destroy us. And, in general, they are anti-life.

      We only get a few years on this earth, and it is given to us in 24 hour portions. Each day offers its own little gifts.

      However, abusers aren’t grateful for life- theirs or others. They don’t respect or appreciate. They are always glass-half empty. They are jealous of everyone, trust no one, feel superior to all, find everyone else tedious and not up to the mark, they ridicule little events that make life worthwhile, they see the magic in nothing, they like darkness and twistedness, they are boring because they want everything to be about them, etc.

      Since I have been away from that emotional vampire- who sucked the life out of me- I have begun to relish the simple things again. For him, nothing was ever good enough. He was always restless.

      I don’t know what he is waiting for: someone to come and change his life? It’s all in the attitude. And if his attitude doesn’t change, he will never be happy!

    • #12988

      And his negativity dragged me down.

      He found fault with everyone- would seethe passive-aggressively with hatred of them, plotting how to get them back, rather than just be assertive and realise no one’s perfect.

      He acted like everyone else was too stupid for him, that events were too ridiculous to attend, that he was too good to engage with normal things.

      I’d rather find happiness in the everyday, and feel part of a big family with other human beings.

    • #12993

      Couldn’t agree with you more they are completely anti life ! This is my husband too ! He even wanted all the blinds closed in the house because he didn’t like the light so we used to constantly be shut indoors in darkness xx

    • #12997

      Wonderfully put!
      Now that the heavy weights of these men are lifted from us we can discover our true selves again. Life looks so promising all of a sudden ….

    • #13016

      Wow yes, my ex to a tee Serenity! Even the curtains drawn @sparkle which was so strange because he was afraid of the dark.

    • #13030

      And woe betide you if you opened the windows a c***k to air the room ( after all, the neighbours might then hear you reacting to his abuse!) x*x

    • #13038
      Falling Skys

      I think mine enjoys the drama of being miserable.

      lol I stayed with friends and they said do you mine opening your bedroom curtains, something he didn’t like me doing so I still don’t…. Making an effort to do it know 🙂 (maybe if the sunlight hit him he would burst into flames…. 😀 )

      I can now enjoy the joy of a walk, flowers the sunrise with out the pee being taken out of me. He saw no joy in anything unless it cost alot of money and as soon a he had it it would loss its appeal.

Viewing 6 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

© 2024 Women's Aid Federation of England – Women’s Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England No: 3171880.

Women’s Aid is a registered charity in England No. 1054154

Terms & conditionsPrivacy & cookie policySite mapProtect yourself onlineMedia │ JobsAccessibility Guide

Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account

Skip to content