Abusers behaviour

[Butterfly-A]

I read a lot about abusive relationships where the perpetrator is horrible at home but shines to the outside world, working hard and building the image of the perfect man.

My husband is the complete opposite to this. He does not try at all to hide his faults, to be honest he doesn’t have to because he has slowly chased away any friends that we did have and my family.

My husband is excessively lazy. He blames this on me as I always offer to do everything around the home, of course it wasn’t always like this but there was a time where if I asked him to help with something, I wouldn’t hear the end of it for hours. so now im used to it, I just get on with it all myself. but I do wonder if me changes my ways has made his behaviour even worse.

Overall, I am just completely done with it all. and I want a way out so much. But regardless of all the above, I still can’t Stand to leave him

[Lisa]

Hi Butterfly-A,

Thank you for your post. I’m sorry to hear about your situation. part of domestic abuse is isolating you and whether he does that through public image or pushing away friends or family- its about power and control for him.

What you described sounds really overwhleming and that you are shouldering a lot of the burden- with no support from him and ongoing abusive behaviour on top of that. You are dealing with a lot- so be kind to yourself. Its important to do what feels best for you.

Best Wishes

Lisa

[Author]

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