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After it ended I had no choice but to involve the police. He was arrested and they carried out an investigation with the intention of prosecuting but I didn’t want to give a statement so it was dropped. The police told me they would have words with him to leave me alone and not contact me. All was ok for a while but he’s found a way to contact me again. He hasn’t been threatening or angry (yet) but his tone is accusatory, insisting I give him answers etc.
Family have suggested I explain why I left him or at least tell him to stop contacting me but I’m too scared. I just want him to go away. My workplace have recommended I involve the police again but I just find it stressful. I’m worried if I do nothing then the contact will continue, I’m also worried if I block him then he may start turning up in person and stalking me which he did once before.
Has anyone got any advice please? Thank you x
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Ignore him.
He is trying with all he has to rein you back get back into your head then your life. He knkws he is nothing without you and he wants you back right where he can control use and hurt you.
Block him
Ignore him
Live your life your way.
If he comes after you again you call the police sweetie he deserves nothing from you nothing at all.
Much love my friend x -
I was in your position myself and ended up having to repeat myself 3xs it was over , that still didn’t stop the contact as he then continued with a barrage of texts , demanding a response, which my ex never got from me . You don’t owe him anything, he knows it’s over , no explanation is necessary from you . I would give him a warning so you have evidence, an email or text , screenshot everything in case you do need to contact the police , just say he is not to contact you any further . Then if he still does after that , ignore everything, but if it does continue still you could look into getting an injunction or reporting him to the police for harassment, they will warn him off at least xx
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Don’t respond. Keep records of everything he does to contact you. Don’t block his number as you’re probably right, it might provoke him to turn up in person. But he may do this anyway. If he does then you absolutely should report him to the police. Stalking and harassment is illegal and is a separate issue to domestic abuse. You don’t need to have made a statement on the abuse before you can report stalking. I understand it’s stressful involving the police but you must. Please don’t minimise his behaviour. Keep safe x
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Please contact the police as soon as possible. This is an escalation and you cannot deal or negotiate with an abuser. They just move the goal posts. Dealing with the police is stressful yes but the alternative is his behaviour and contact will continue to escalate. He knows why you don’t wish contact, he knows his behaviour was abusive, he’s just trying to hook you back in with contact. You owe him nothing.
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Hi there.
I feel for you and I been through not long ago
(Legal information removed by Moderator).
As the bail conditions been due to expire, I did apply myself for a Non molestation order to Family court and I been granted one.
Now each non molestation order is adapted to each personal need of protection, on mine I did request the judge (detail removed by Moderator). If he will do so, the order is coming with a power if arrest, so his eventually breaches will not be treated light.
I feel more better since he is not allowed to get in contact with me.
Maybe this is of help -
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you dont owe him explanations, you contacting the police is a clear explanation, ignore, record and be safe. its worrying that after the police has spoken to him he still tries to contact you, that
s a warning sign to you, speak to police and reach out for help. you dont know what his intentions or his actions might be. dont put yourself in a situation that potentially could be dangerous just because its stressful to you, it will be stressful for a short while but can be for a long time if you let him bother you and affect you life and emotions x*x -
Getting tired, my abusive husband also found a way to contact me, I reported him to the police as it came as a surprise…. we haven’t been in contact, zero contact and I had blocked him on everything.. he still found a way. As I am at divorce stage (same as you if I remember correctly). I felt better for telling the police as my husbands behaviour has changed.
Mine ignored all legal stuff, appointments, invitations and has now demanded we meet, that’s why I reported him.In my opinion, update the police. Christmas is also around the corner which can set these men off again.
Live a life where you hold him responsible for his behaviour, even if he doesn’t take responsibility for his behaviours.
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Hey hun, how is he contacting you?
I blocked my ex on everything. Block him and mutual friends on everything. Delete your social media and start a fresh one with stricter privacy, only close friends. Change your number. You want him out of of life so help that by blocking him and never responding if somehow he gets through, don’t respond, a response illicits a reply and it doesn’t end.
About the police, it’s good if you can report it and make a statement so you can also protect other women. If someone gets involved with him and uses Claire’s law, if you haven’t made a statement, there will be no records on him.
Xx -
Sorry this is a bit late and thank you for the replies. The contact has been via email and was only once every few weeks or so. In total, I actually haven’t had many from him. A family member of his (who is well and truly on ‘his side’) did call and leave a voicemail asking me to call them back though as well. However, more recently he contacted me through something else (along with family members of mine and a friend) sending nasty messages accusing me again and trying to turn people against me. I was angered by what he said so I did leave a voicemail with the arresting police officer but was told not to report crime that way and to instead report to 101. I’ve since backed out of reporting him officially, it’s like every time it happens I tell myself I’ll report him and deal with it next time if he does it again. Then history keeps repeating itself. It’s not ruining my life but it does make me feel a bit uneasy, not sure if/when I’ll hear from him again. Especially now it’s Christmas/New year time as I was concerned this may set him off to contact me again. I’m still too scared to block him from emailing me. X
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