Hi A, sorry to read you are both going through this, this is emotional abuse, awful for you to deal with and damaging on your son. It really needs to stop hey. Sounds like you need to through a third party for the collections / drop offs and all comms. Can you arrange this?
Can you evidence what happens? If you haven’t already then perhaps call Children’s Services, Cafcass or the NSPCC for support to help you get things as they need to be.
If he is causing trouble on the door step then this is a police matter. It was only once I did this that it started to change for us. A police incident report holds a lot of weight as evidence x