16th November 2021 at 12:04 pm #134096VanillastarParticipant
Me and my daughters father have been split up a few weeks now and I’m trying not to get hoovered back in. I know for the last year or so I have been surpressing all my feelings and just carrying on in survival mode. I slept last night for the first time in months, I’ve been for a walk this morning I’m, trying to help myself and get better then bam I’m sat watching a bit of tv and next thing I’m crying and upset. I think I’m trying to accept that I have been abused and everything he has done to me was abuse. How do you deal with that. I will never get an apology or even an acknowledgement from him of what he has done to me yet I’m still consumed with thoughts as to what he is doing and why is he not begging for forgiveness. When does it get easier x
16th November 2021 at 12:39 pm #134098EyesopeningParticipant
Hey, it took me about 2 months to feel pretty ok.
Those first two months were extremely hard.
Every day it will get easier. It really was like a rollercoaster, some days ok, some days were like a nightmare, the bad days become bad hours, to bad minutes.
There is light at the end of the tunnel. First months is the hardest, it was like desperation mode. So much pain, guilt, confusion, nightmares. Second month was easier by far already, but there were days when I cried all day. Third month, still a little confusion, but so so much better. Clarity is there now.
Keep posting and reaching out, support is so important right now.
16th November 2021 at 12:42 pm #134099EyesopeningParticipant
I had the same, no apology or acknowledgement.
But I didn’t really care.
I knew I wouldn’t get it, the more you read about abusers, the more you understand them you will understand why they will never act like a normal human being. They are incapable, it was not you, they would be like this with anybody. Now its time to focus on you, and only you.
16th November 2021 at 2:00 pm #134108BananaboatParticipant
It’s still a break up, even with an abuser. So expect all the highs and lows of a breakup plus the extra baggage our relationships gave us, but most importantly be kind to yourself.
16th November 2021 at 5:28 pm #134117NeverthoughtitwouldbemeParticipant
Sorry to hear you are going through this.
It is extremely hard for the first month or so but day by day it will get easier.
I was the same for a good few months and still have bad days now and I’m not sure I’ll ever properly come to terms with what has happened to me but I am a firm believer in time is a great healer so give it time.
You will get there I’m sure. Just focus on you and what’s important, do things that make you happy and you will see a light at the end of the tunnel xx
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