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    • #129152
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      He won’t leave , he brushes everything under the carpet , can I ask advice .

      I’ve been told I can get him removed , I don’t want to have to go down the route( lots of reasons and it never ends well ) but I have told him I want him to go but he ignores me .

      Has anyone have any susjestions on another ways . I don’t like confrontation and it’s taken me years to pluck up the courage to tell him to go , and nothing changed .I’m not sure what I can do

    • #129234
      Catjam
      Participant

      Hi, I was exactly the same. I asked him repeatedly to leave and he wouldn’t.
      I also had the option to get him removed but decided against it because it felt too much. That I didn’t want to give him that label, more because of our kids as they are all grown up.
      So I ended up finding somewhere to live and in a way I think this was the better option. He would have left with a bag of clothes and would have found a reason to come back every day.
      It was hard to leave especially as I left with very little but my place is just that, it’s mine. I still have to deal with all the legal stuff and I miss him badly but I have tried to go no contact as much as possible.
      There are no easy options but you need to do what’s right for you.

    • #129235
      KIP.
      Participant

      He’s going nowhere until he’s made to. Is it your property or does he own it too? Could you involve someone else to talk to him? Ending an abusive relationship is really dangerous. It didn’t take long before I was assaulted and the police arrested him. You could involve the police. Perhaps they could remove him. If it’s your property you could change the locks when he’s out.

    • #129237
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      See a solicitor. You can also try to ring Rights of Women to see if you can get some initial advice.
      If you are married he probably has rights to stay even if the property is in your name.
      If you are not married, it could still be a legal minefield if he has contributed to the house.
      You need legal advice to see how you can get him out, if you don’t wish to/can’t get a occupation order and he won’t leave.
      Although changing the locks sounds attractive,this depends on the legal situation. Depending on the circumstances, he could get a court order to get back in (if he has a right to occupy) and that could increase tensions.
      So work out your legal position first by getting advice and then decide how to proceed.

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