Advice

[Anonymous]

Can a mental health profession report abuse to the police and get a restraining order without your consent? They have said they need to put a police marker on my property (I understand why- to help me feel safe) and may need to take further action to stop him coercing me back home.

I dare not antagonise my husband as he can get to me really easily in my head and I will live in fear of this. I have stressed that doing this will make me even more suicidal than I already am. I am having help for these thoughts but am panicking as I don’t want him to know I have told anyone about the things he has done as he is extremely clever and knows how to get into my head. I want to try to get stronger myself on my own so he can’t hurt me. If they do this he will turn my children against me. I am non stop worrying now on top of the pain I have and it’s exacerbating it.

[KIP.]

Hey I can only imagine the worry this will be causing you. A health professional has a duty of care to you and your children and if they feel you are in immediate danger they have a professional obligation to report this. Sometimes when we are traumatised by abuse we simply cannot comprehend what’s happening and the danger we and our children are in. I’m so grateful for,the intervention of the police because I was too frozen with fear to do anything. Do you have support from women’s aid? Your partner may be able to manipulate and mentally harm you but he won’t be able to do that with professionals and if you’re children are in danger or they’re being affected which children who witness abuse often are then consider this is a situation you simply cannot control and leave by yourself.

[Anonymous]

They have looked into it and will put a marker on the property. I was relieved that they didn’t make it more formal at the moment.I live in fear of what he could do to me later down the line.

Then my mind started working overtime. Maybe they didn’t take it further because they didn’t believe me. I really struggle with thinking I’m being pacified and that really they don’t believe me. The more I express worry and concern about no one believing me, the more I worry they won’t because I’m concerned about it if that makes sense.

I spoke to a women’s charity tonight and they put my mind at rest saying it is clearly coercive control and abuse and they are going to help me understand why I feel this way. I was able to go through some of the more intimate things with them. When I went through all the other different things that have happened to me over many years they say it’s not easy to come to terms with or leave behind.

I fear that one day I won’t be able to cope and will snap and try to do something to end the pain. I left my husband around (removed by moderator) months ago and I don’t feel like I’m making progress. I don’t think I will ever be able to do anything formally about it because of the shame and impact it would have on my children. In some respects though my daughter has replaced me and I need to get her out but don’t have the first clue how to do it.

Is the fear of being believed a common thing even if you’ve been told you are believed?

[Author]

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