Advice – Help

[Yellowdiamond]

Hi everyone.

I haven’t posted on here in a while as I have been doing OK, going to therapy and trying to move on with my life, I have met someone (who has been a friend for years) but it’s early days still and I am not rushing. The ex – I have still had regular contact with him, not by my choice but by him contacting me – normally (detail removed by moderator) however I do not engage with the contact. He has recently contacted a friend asking to meet up and using children as a guilt trip (obviously she didn’t respond) but I was wondering will it always be like this or will he eventually give up and stop contacting me and people in my life???

[KIP.]

I’m afraid I think he will always push boundaries until you push back. For me I had to involve the police. He has no right to contact you when you don’t wish him to. As for the people close to you, they need to be told what’s going on and to report his contact if it continues. These men feel entitled. It’s stalking behaviour and you need help x talk to women’s aid or the domestic abuse unit of the police x

[Grey Rock]

The only way I’ve found to deal with this us to go Grey Rock. I have changed my phone number, blocked on social media, and set up on email so that anything from his known email addresses goes direct to his own folder (couldn’t see how to block on there and that email address is used for b****y everything).

At his worse my ex texted and called in a phone bombing style. Even set up (detail removed by moderator) phone bomb me gibberish ( not much different to his drunk texting tbh) while he slept. Eventually this led to him being arrested for stalking and harassment.
There was a restraining order put in place saying no contact allowed but that just slowed him down a bit. When I did one day pick the phone up and reminded him of this he seemed amazed that I’d expect him to honour the order. Reminded me noone tells him no or what to do and asked (detail removed by moderator)  (Haha. Yes, unfortunately I do! ) Nowadays there’ll be something sneaking through to my notice once every month or so. Maybe there’s more going to the blocked accounts, I don’t know. Sometimes I get curious and am momentarily curious and consider unblocking to see what comes through. Nuts eh!!??? It’s my Pandora’s box. A dangerous place to get curious.

My close friends know not to even tell me if he’s asked them to pass something on. They know I find it disturbing and want no part in giving him back that control. He’s run out of flying monkeys.

GR

[Cyberblonde]

Grey Rock

I love he has run out of flying monkeys

I will use that one.

My counselor recommended visualising a physical bubble to protect me when he starts being aggressive or abusive or controlling.

Imagining his words as flying monkeys will help

[Author]

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