Advice needed

[Gerbil]

Hi everyone
I have currently locked myself in the bathroom. He spoilt a special day (detail removed by Moderator) days ago. And I can now feel the change in him. I know he is going to try to spoil tomorrow. I just need to be able to cope/get through the next week. Then I will have concrete plans
Any help or advice appreciated.
I know I only have another minute before he hassles me to come downstairs. Sorry for the rushed message.
I just don’t know how to appease him. He asked me to (detail removed by moderator) . I said I wascold so this has put him in a worse mood
Hope you are all ok x

[Gerbil]

I never ever shout or raise my voice. I have just shouted at him unfortunately in front of the children. Now he is being so nice and keeping calm.

[Bananaboat]

Hey, hang in there, you sound really strong and like you have a plan so for tonight stay safe. This making you react/shout then they turn into the nice guy is classic behaviour, I get it a lot and he’ll probably use it against you to say you’re the bad person so expect that (you’re not!! You reacted after much pushing and that’s natural). Know you’re not alone and that even if tonight isn’t great, there’s hope and you don’t have to put up with this x

[Twisted Sister]

Hi Gerbil

great to hear from you, that you managed to reach out under such horrible circumstances.

I don’t know your story, and don’t need to, but I just wanted to reply to you and reach out back to you also, so sorry you are struggling with this.

Its very encouraging to hear that you are coming to a concrete plan. Does anyone know, are you being helped? Do keep your phone with you at all times.

Maybe you can talk to him of future things, plans for when you have had a couple of weeks of rest to catch up as you are feeling so tired? Anything that distract him from right now, but force him to take a longer view of your lives?

Do keep talking and getting every support, and be wary in case things escalate rapidly, be ready to call 999 if you need to.

warmest wishes

ts

[nbumblebee]

Breethe. Concentrate on those plans of yours keep those in your head and heart they will keep you going.
When im anxious and often sitting on my own bathroom floor i count. Sounds crazy but roll with me here.
I count 1-100 but it goes like this
2-1 3-2 4-3 5-4 6-5 7-6 and so on slow your breething down whilst you count, i do it in my head when hes off on one it helps ground me calm me down and i can think clearer after.
Im not sure by your message whats going on but I can sense how bad you feel sweetie.
You got this, keep believeing x*x

[Gerbil]

Thank you both so much.
I am definitely going to ring the police and GP tomorrow.
I am calmer now. I did the breathing exercises. Yes I always have my phone on me. My kids are here ( they are older) so I know I am safe physically.

This group is so supportive. I know people on here understand. You are all amazing strong women.
Xx

[Author]

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