8th April 2021 at 9:41 am #124512FreedompoppyParticipant
I wonder if anyone could help me, I’m thinking of reporting my abuser. I was in a coercive and controlling relationship and it’s come to light through councilling that he was using sexual violence. It was like a light 💡 moment. There is one counter that he videoed me and took photos. I was intoxicated and couldn’t even stand. Other times were sexual violence and excuse used as Sun/Dom relationship which we never spoke about throughout the relationship and Iv only just looked into what he meant. He’s always said you consent.. you wanted this. But I didn’t who would. I have no faith in the police as it landed in their hands last October and I was coerced into withdrawing evidence. The main night that I’m struggling with was the night I was intoxicated and how he isolated me from all friends family’s and jobs.
I don’t think ok strong enough to press cHarges but I want to make the police aware and surly they would have last times evidence? I went through all our data and copied conversation between me and him and it’s shows so much abuse.
Can you just inform police and not take it further is my question I’m guessing?
9th April 2021 at 2:26 pm #124593Living WarriorParticipant
firstly hello, and i am sorry you are going through this,
i have reported things to the police, statements of harrassment etc…
if these things are historic-like mine was- there was no evidence of the sexual assaults, they note it and thats it, but my advice is report it- i had started “police logg” they told me no matter the incident you can call your local police station or 1o1 or even report it by online chat to police, they will give you an incident log number- which relates to your incident. i was told by police that you can add more incidents to your logg to show a pattern of behaviour and later this can help with court orders etc if needed. keep records of all abuse, screen shots, messages, call logs. if you do decide to leave and things escalate then you have proof of the escalation. i was so glad i had my proof. it is still helping me now as my ex continues to try and dig his nails in.
stay strong! you can do this!
10th April 2021 at 7:39 am #124619WaterspriteParticipant
Hi Freedompoppy sorry to hear what you have endured. I reported my ex. They will definitely have last times evidence. You could call 101 and discuss it – I doubt if it’s historic without evidence they would compel you to court even if they thought they had enough to charge but I’m no expert so maybe chat it through with them or victim support so you are fully aware of choices and options x
10th April 2021 at 11:20 am #124622SleepypigeonParticipant
Hi, so sorry you are going through this.
I also had lightbulb moments after talking with someone and struggling with similar.
It’s the same question I have asked myself, if no evidence and historic, can you report so its logged without them wanting court etc or is it just wasting the police time?
I’m out, free but part of me wants these things noted somewhere incase it helped a new supply, or that horrible though there might be others that have reported but not enough evidence either? Do the police care? Would it help?
Stay strong freedompoppy your not alone in this
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