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This past year after over a decade of physical and emotional abuse I am closer than ever to finishing it. I have really came to hate who I have become, bitter, resentful sometimes cruel i think in what I say to him now but i just want away.
I have always worked full time and paid the bills (house in my name) last (detail removed by Moderator) after an incident which involved my window and at getting smashed due to him arguing with someone and police and social work got involved (social work didn’t process any further after speaking to me) i gave up the tenancy which I had threatened to do for years. He was (& still is furious) but moved into his dads house which his dad doesn’t actually stay in, it was like a weight of responsibility of my shoulders.
just before (detail removed by Moderator) he managed to hit me with something causing a cut to my head which needed hospital treatment and soon after I went to my mums to stay (she lives (detail removed by Moderator) mins away).
the question is how do i get him to stay away from me? i’m nervous about involving the police due to previous incident and he comes down every day crying & begging, constant messages even messaging our daughter, he waits outside to take her to school and me to work when i ask him not to he begs endlessly. I’m also scared he will effect my job in some way by showing up there which i have worked so hard to get where i am.
He threatens suicide almost weekly ( i try help, took him to docs and have left work before when he says all this) he says i cause him to self harm with what i say to him (i tell him i don’t want to be with him, i’m unhappy) he says why can’t i be nice to him and be happy and give him sex when he wants ( i have to force myself or he gets mad it’s not worth refusing) he had a heavy drug addiction which makes things worse.
sorry for the novel but it’s good to write this down, any advice would be great…
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hello, hope for better,
Crying, begging, not leaving you alone and not giving you the space at all, treating you with committing suicide – it is all the tactics to hoover you back.
Check the term hoovering.
One thing only work with the abusers and manipulators it is NO CONTACT.
GET RID of him from your life.
As long as you are in contact – there will be all sorts of tactics to get you back and you are only will be who will suffer much more at the end. Have been there myself, i have seen crocodile tears, suicide attempts, big fake love. It is all fake, at this moment he does not think about you, but only about himself.
Recently I found one site.
Please read it – it will explain to you what they really think when they are crying, begging.
You will find on this site.(Link removed by Moderator)
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Thank you for replying and the link is very helpful with information xx
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i get how you feel mine is similar, he swings from pleading to me, crying, threatening suicide to verbal abuse and threats to with hold maintenance payments, swearing in my face calling me a heartless b@@@@, a wh@re, it’s so up and down and hard to deal with. Sometimes I think it’s my fault and I am scared how I will cope on my own, he has made me believe that I can’t, that I won’t be able to…I feel your pain and am sending love and strength xxxx
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