• This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 1 month ago by Lisa.
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    • #133121
      chengetagirl
      Participant

      I’ve been trying to leave for a while now, right now, we have accrued debt, I can’t save because its accounted for every month, renting privately is not an option because I personally have no credit rating (everything joint) so estate agents won’t help me either, council won’t put us onto the housing register as there is no “reason” (not overcrowded or homeless) to despite my explaining my situation… saying it cannot be a planned move.

      What do I do?

      To just throw myself at the mercy of the council by literally walking out is too high a risk as my kids need to be in schools where we are and I can’t risk at this vital stage of letting them miss school… exams depend on it. They’re teens.

      So how do I even 1) get heard by the powers that be for help and 2) make this a planned move knowing my kids will be safe and stay in schools. My daughter is quite anxious as it is… to even suggest we go homeless is beyond thinking about.

      Please please help..

    • #133123
      KIP.
      Participant

      Contact your local women’s aid. They can support you in whatever you decide to do. Have you considered having him removed from the property? Start keeping a secret journal of his behaviour and disclose it to your GP. This can be vital evidence later on if needed. Most solicitors offer free initial advice so you could ask about an occupation order. Citizens advice are great to talk to about the debt and a long term plan or even if it’s your debt. Start gathering a support network. There’s the national domestic abuse helpline and Rights of Women have a free legal advice helpline. The council have a duty to act in cases of domestic abuse so get your local women’s aid to explain your rights. Your partner is harming your children by harming you. Physically or mentally. It’s child abuse and children from abusive homes are more likely to be abused in adulthood. Abuse stunts growth, affects their concentration and is already affecting mental health so talk to your local women’s aid about help and counselling for them and you. Read Living with the Dominator by Pat Craven or Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft. Don’t tell him of any plans to leave or to have him removed. It’s dangerous. Get a safety plan in place with your local women’s aid. You could talk to the domestic abuse unit at the police for advice. I had my ex arrested and he was removed from the property. It gave me the break I needed to get a plan in place.

    • #133129
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi Chengtagirl,

      Sorry to hear you are not being supported at the moment in the way that you need.

      Your local council should be supporting you more around accommodation. If you are being abused by the person you live with, or by someone you have been associated with, you have the right to leave home and should be entitled to emergency or temporary accommodation provided that the council believes you fit certain criteria. To meet these criteria, you must be:

      – Eligible for assistance

      – Homeless, or threatened with homelessness

      Your local authority housing department has a legal duty to provide you with advice about finding somewhere to live and to provide you with temporary accommodation. You need to make your council aware that you are unintentionally homeless due to domestic abuse, and it is unsafe for you to return home.

      There are a lot of factors that are involved when a council considers re-housing you. A housing advisor should go through all of the details with you. If you experience any problems, you could get in touch with your local domestic abuse service who will be able to offer you support with how to deal with the council. You can find information on how to contact your local domestic abuse service here: https://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/.

      Turn2Us help people access the money available to them – through welfare benefits, grants and other help based on your particular needs and circumstances. They operate a confidential helpline and, on their website, have an income-related benefits checker, enabling you to check that you are receiving all the welfare benefits you are entitled to. The website includes a grants search containing the details of hundreds of grant-giving charities that may be able to provide financial support, information and resources on a broad range of money matters to help you manage your finances. Contactable on 0808 802 2000, http://www.turn2us.org.uk/.

      You could contact Shelter line to discuss your housing rights. Shelter line offer free and confidential housing information, support and legal advice on all housing and homelessness issues: https://england.shelter.org.uk They have a live chat service, and an emergency helpline available on 0808 800 44 44 (8am-8pm weekdays, 9am-5pm weekends).

      I can see KIP has provided even more options that are good and worth looking into, so I hope all this is useful to you.

      Take care and keep posting to let us know how you get on.

      All the best,

      Lisa

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