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    • #27160
      Savingmyself
      Participant

      Hello all
      I was on this site last year and have stayed away from my abuser
      I just bumped into his girlfriend and after I seen her I started to shake
      She looked very beautiful and slim but also miserable , she saw me and she looked embarrassed then she just looked away .
      She was seeing him while I was still with him .
      I have been binge eating so my clothes don’t fit me staying in my house for days on end and not even washing my hair so I did not look great
      I guess she will tell him she saw me not looking great .
      Can’t believe that just happened .
      Big hugs to all xx

    • #27182
      Savingmyself
      Participant

      Hello again some of you might remember me from last year
      That incident today really got to me , Thank goodness I am no longer involved with him and Not for his want of trying as he tried contacting me just this weekend, I never replied.
      Big hugs to you all xx

    • #27189

      Do not contact him whatever you do. Mine contacted me too and I simply ignored it! They thrice off the attention so the more it gets to you the more they will do it. Well done give yourself a massive pat on the back and tell yourself how amazing you truly are x*x

    • #27199
      strawberryshortcake
      Participant

      Doesn’t matter how you looked, it’s of no consequence because he’s (detail removed by Moderator) and you’re not. Simple.

    • #27202
      Savingmyself
      Participant

      Thank you Positive I sure won’t and thank you Strawberry that made me laugh.
      Big hugs xx

    • #27206
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Hi and hugs SM

      You are free and whether your hairs a mess or larger than you were having a bad day you have something that is beyond compare.

      As time goes on there will be less bad days. Hair can washed and weight loss time for that is on your side.

      Think is hard for us seeing new partners because we know what they are going through and we can’t do anything to stop it.

      Try and focus on all the good moments you are having. So proud of you.

      FS xx

    • #27213

      Dear Savingmyself, I wouldn’t worry too much about this. I agree, it can be cringeworthy if you think about it BUT you are in so much a better position now. I have put on almost a stone since I split from my ex, my motivation to exercise has completely gone and I spent a lot of time just sitting around. I feel embarrassed about this & I don’t really look good. But I know my foundations are in place and so much stronger than before, for real goodness not artificial. When I was with my ex I was slim and spent a lot of effort making myself stay that way. But I realize that the reason I did that was to keep a man only. I wouldn’t mind betting if you were miserable and your ex was abusive to you, he is the same to this slim beautiful one who looks miserable. You have the skills and ability to shake yourself up as I do, at the moment the miserable beauty is trapped where you were. I spent days not washing my hair, comfort eating and looking like a slob. As well as this my job is sedentary. But I (& I believe you) have a psychological block that we need to work through to get back to looking after ourselves again. This book is lovely, it might help you: The Womens Comfort Book by Jennifer Louden X*X

    • #27250
      Savingmyself
      Participant

      Wow yes you are both are so right Thank you for your lovely replies xx
      My mind is in a better place as I will no longer put up with being used or abused and I have put on a lot of weight since staying away from the abuse and like you say I can now work on that too! Thank you all for reframing it for me .
      Big hugs x*x

    • #27251

      I have just had a rather nice thought. Christmas & New Year I think for me will be a time where I can really stick my two fingers up at my ex & say fck you!!!! I would have maintained 99.9% for months & months & mainly happily so. Life for us women out of the abuse is just beginning, our ex’s & their partners still have all of the s**t to deal with. Dear Savingmyself, we can get our healthy selves back in our own time. X*X

    • #27252

      maintained No Contact.

    • #27267

      Hello ladies 😊. One thing I have vowed to do sin d I left him was to dress up every single day. I make myself look even more amazing than I ever did and boy do I get noticed lol. I even as a police officer turn his head I was like gosh that’s never happened. You do this it will become an automatic habit and before you know it you will enjoy it. I am a firm believer in you look how you feel so start looking good to get that inner goodness inside you out! You are beautiful and you deserve to feel it!

    • #27270

      I agree, i’ve started to have my hair done more often, eating lots more fruit & veg and doing as much exercise as I can motivate myself to do. X*X

    • #27288
      Savingmyself
      Participant

      Thank you I am going to follow suit and have a fresh start at taking better care of myself.
      Going to start off with walking and choosing to eat healthier than I have
      Big hugs to all x*x

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