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I am new to all this,I have separated from my husband after (number removed by Moderator) yrs,the abuse I received has got me questioning my whole life.
I am trying to get my head around everything and still at a point where I am allowing this abuse and control and yet I still don’t like to upset him.
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Hello Ltrudy,
Thank you for sharing this with us and welcome to the forum.
Identifying abuse within a long term relationship can be an overwhelming and distressing experience.
It’s really important to remember that what’s happening is not your fault. Abuse often escalates very gradually over time and due to this it can be very difficult to recognise. Very often it’s not a case of ‘allowing’ abuse but more so it being the safest option to pacify and manage the abusers behaviour, this might feel difficult but is important to reframe so that you are not in danger of taking responsibility for the abuse. It is the abusers fault alone who chooses to behave in this way, the core of domestic abuse is often power and control.
Perhaps the Freedom Programme could be a useful resource for you: https://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/
I hope you find some comfort being here on the forum.
Take care and keep posting,
Lisa
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