Alcohol – how do you cope

[Farawayplanet]

I’m close to walking out of this house.

My husband, he drinks, alot. I decided to keep a tally this week, 95.4 units since (detail removed by moderator). He’s has drank 6 nights out of 7. We are both off work this week due to half term. When he’s in work, he only drinks on his days off and change over shift (day to night shift)

Does constant drinking/unable to acknowledge the problem form some form of abuse? The effects on me and our son – walking on egg shells the next day, have to act differently around him….ie do what he wants to keep the peace. Not to mention the money spent, not just on the beer but later on takeaways, eating everything in the house so I have to go shopping again etc. Then there is me, every morning after alcohol he wants sex and this is where sexual abuse comes in, I often wake up to him near enough trying to enter me or at least touching me in places I do not want him to touch me while sleeping.

I do have an exit plan in place, well that’s when he isn’t spending all the money making it hard for me to save but I am getting there.

I suppose my question is, does alcohol drop into any of the abuse categories?

[KIP.]

I’d say Only when they use it to hide behind or we use it as an excuse for abuse. I spent decades blaming alcohol for his abuse but most people drink alcohol and do not abuse. I bet he can control the abuse when there are witnesses around. Alcohol is no excuse for sexual abuse. He knows exactly what he is doing and he chooses to assault you sexually. He probably won’t acknowledge he has a problem anyway. He’s an adult and not your responsibility. I tried everything to get my ex to stop drinking because I blames the alcohol for the abuse but even when not drinking he was a nasty abuser.

[Anonymous]

My ex was an alcoholic. He stopped working and the financial burden of it almost broke me. I don’t miss that at all. Hoping to be debt free by next year. My ex was also vile and abusive to me in front of other people. I’m not sure if the alcohol made him abusive and in the end, I stopped caring.

[Peacethroughhealing]

When I met him he was an alcoholic and he went through detox. I supported him through all of it and he is now almost two years sober. I am no longer with him. The abuse got worse after he stopped drinking like it masked the real serious issues he had. Now he was exposed and open with no alcohol to hide behind. The level of abuse escalated to extreme degrees. Please don’t think that it’s the alcohol and, if anything, it will dull things down for him. Without it he was a raging bull and seemed to blame me as I was a reason for him going through detox in the first place and I had apparently taken his ‘friend’ alcohol away from him.

[Author]

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