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I’ve been in this situation for years, I can only remember when the abuse didn’t seem so bad, or so constant, without the swearing. But all of a sudden something has clicked in my head…it’s got to the point where I can’t take anymore. I am physically sick, I shake, I doubt everything I do, I’m a ghost of myself, I am so anxious I can’t breath. But I put on a face, everyday. For my children. At work. With most of my friends. But I know I will get out, for the first time I know it’s over and I have to for my own health. I’ve told a friend who is supportive, she believes me and says it’s not right. I am not thick, selfish, stupid, a r””””d, a b*tch, a liar, useless, fat, nagging, a stress head , pathetic, narrow minded, a hypocrite and the cause of every single problem in his life. It’s not because of me, he shouts and swears because it’s him. I don’t cause the anger nor the aggression, goodness it’s taken me time to realise that but tomorrow I might think it’s me again xx
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Itmustbemeasurely, it must feel so good to feel empowered and to take control back. I have had similar and had determined to go but these last few weeks he’s been calm, even over situations he wouldn’t normally be. I know it’s the cycle and at times I find myself wanting him to erupt so that I have a reason to go. It’s so hard breaking out of this circle that binds us.
Good luck to you x
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Today we all went out, he had to go back to the car as the parking was due to run out. He called him, I didn’t hear the phone. He text me told me (detail removed by moderator)…so he drove home without us, my daughter and I had to walk home (detail removed by moderator) in the rain. How dare I keep him waiting. But it’s my fault, I’m moody, he shouts and swears at me because I was cross he turned the TV when I was watching it…he is drunk and red faced…I will be leaving soon. Hold that thought,
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