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    • #122356
      ConfusedandHurt
      Participant

      My day has been and a bit of bag of mixed emotions, was really happy earlier as seen my nephew but tonight I just have this lonely feeling that is just making me really down.

      I checked something and I know that I am now no longer in his thoughts, and while I know its the right thing it just hurts and reminds me of how much I miss him. I know I can’t go back, i know it will never work, we were so compatible we were incompatible.

      Do you ever feel like you are just putting on a front for people and making it seem like everything is held together when really inside ur falling apart and that each day is its own battle.

      I’ve lost my best friend, my boyfriend, my soul mate and it just f****n hurts. 💔

      I cant/don’t want to talk to my family as they are just happy I I put of the situation and to them I am being strong.
      My closest friend is just getting so.w happiness back into her life so I don’t want to lay this on her.
      My other friends are more just “acquaintances” as such, we are friends but they are likely to just be sick of hearing me sayin how much I miss him despite what he done to me.
      I live alone now and its at this time of night that i find I struggle the most.

      To people around me its not the end of the world, they say I will move on and I will find someone else, but I have zero confidence, I don’t feel worthy anymore. I cant help but think that this is karma way of saying this is it for you.

      Not really sure why I am posting this but I just feel its easier to write out how I’m feeling to strangers than it is to talk to the people that are by me. 🙁

    • #122360
      KIP.
      Participant

      Hi, I just wanted to reassure you that you won’t always feel this way. It’s just one of the steps you need to take on your recovery road and this too shall pass. We need to grieve for the relationship and the hopes and dreams we had. Healing from Hidden Abuse is a great book. Talking about how we feel is really important so keep posting on here until you feel confident enough to talk things through with perhaps some counselling. Abuse leaves damage and that can be helped. Meanwhile just be very kind to yourself and stick to absolutely zero contact. No checking on him, no listening to gossip about him. Absolutely zero contact. You will be very vulnerable to him for a long time. It’s like a drug habit and it takes time and zero contact to break that x

    • #122364
      beachhut
      Participant

      Hi. This is a difficult time, as you say we but up a front and don’t want to keep on telling those closest to us how we actually feel. Our friends and family are just happy that we are away from those who have caused us harm, but unless they have been where we are they can’t truly understand the loss we feel, we have to adjust to being alone and deal by our selves and this was not our plan and what we expected to happen. We I an sure with time we will learn to deal with this loss and just need the patience to heal.
      Take care of you. Xx

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